Elimination Communication: How To’s and Suggestions

Thought I would post this now, before the Unreliable Narrator grows up and I’ve totally forgotten what the early years were like.

Now, we didn’t just come to potty training blind. I started investigating Elimination Communication when I was pregnant. I was obsessing over the “disposable diaper/cloth diaper” false dichotomy (and it is false), when I came across some websites that mentioned EC. I’m an evolving greenie who’s trying to walk the walk over talking the talk, and also someone who, realistically speaking, lives in a hyper-modern, uber-urban city and is as alienated from the land and the natural world as anybody else these days. But, I really wanted to put theory into practice and commit to the reduction of plastic diapers in landfills.

So as weird as EC sounded at first (I have to let my kid wander around my house without a diaper? wha?), I knew it was worth trying.

Step 1: Educate

The best time to read up on EC is when you’re pregnant, before your first child. If that’s not possible, join some online discussion groups or show up at a local Diaper Free Baby meeting and open your ears and mind.

When I started, I read the main books on EC out there (Laurie Boucke) and then I boiled down the information for my husband and my in-laws and parents. Because they were also going to be helping with childcare and I wanted them on board.

I won’t lie: it was hard. My husband (HB) thought I was crazy. But he knew better than to cross a pregnant woman, especially if he wanted to stay married to me and also if he ever hoped to see me naked again. So he was on board, if skeptical.

My in-laws and parents are Chinese immigrants. Their take on the whole matter was, “We left the old country and old country ways precisely so we could enjoy all the modern conveniences and pollute the earth with non-biodegradable disposable diapers like the gwai lo.” Meaning, my mother and mother-in-law might have been potty trained the EC way (Chinese style, meaning, poop on the street from your split pants if you have to), but they considered themselves to have advanced beyond this. So in short, they thought I was crazy too.

It all changed when we brought the Unreliable Narrator home. (Before he could speak we called him the Cutie Nubbin.)

Step 2: Input and Output Are Related

Now ideally, while you’re thinking about what comes out, you’re also thinking about what goes in. We made the choice to breastfeed. That is, I made the executive decision to breastfeed and if HB was moved to lactate and help out, he was welcome to. If he wasn’t forthcoming with this voluntary assistance, then he could be chair of the Dept of Output.

Because we chose breastfeeding, we didn’t have any issues with ear infections or rashes. (Formula apparently tends to exacerbate ear infections and rashes in infants because formula is conducive to baterial growth in the eustachian tubes of sleeping babies, and also some babies are allergic to the composition of certain formulas, as it’s harder to digest than breastmilk.)

But even as the CN moved to solid foods, we decided early on to

• encourage him to eat plenty of fiber in fruits and vegetables, and lots of whole grains
• encourage him to eat ethnic foods (we’re Chinese; we also love ethnic foods ourselves)
• eat lots of veggies ourselves so he would see a good model for this

Because iron is so important to the brain development of babies, we made sure to seek out both animal and non-animal sources of iron. Here’s a handy list. (There’s iron in breastmilk but it decreases after a while, which is why it’s good if first foods are iron rich.) Even today, at almost four years old, the UN mixes in iron-rich dry infant cereal mix into his regular oatmeal.

We consulted Super Baby Food and followed many of the suggestions. Now, I’m a food texture freak and not surprisingly, so’s my son. So there’s no way he’d consent to eating gruel for breakfast past his late toddler years. But what is helpful is the Super Baby Food technique of making up your own batches of pureed lentils, chick peas, cauliflower, what have you, and making ice cubes with them. These store for quite a while in the freezer. So I add these to beef stew or spaghetti sauce, and it’s like turbo-charging those foods nutritionally.

With Super Baby Food I learned the principle of feeding nutritionally dense foods to little ones, in 5 small meals a day. I’ve still continued on this path: it feels like a waste of an opportunity to me if the UN eats a nutritionally-empty snack like potato chips. We almost always offer fruit or vegetables in unlimited quantities, sometimes in combination with nut butters now that we know he’s not allergic, or cheese and crackers, or something of that ilk. A snack is just a little meal, with just as much nutritional attention paid to its composition–a snack isn’t a throwaway. I’ve heated up leftovers from dinner the night before as a snack. If we’re home, why not? Also, offer milk or water with every meal.

Now just because I’m extra tightly wound, I kept all the milk/dairy foods together in one meal or snack, and paired vitamin C rich foods with the high-iron foods. That’s because as a general rule, vitamin C aids absorption of iron and calcium inhibits iron absorption. Beef and broccoli: yes. Beef and cheese: what’s the point? The beef and cheese are kinda canceling each other out.

So I’ve spent a lot of time on the Dept of Input (my bailiwick) because following the law of conservation of matter, what goes in will come out. Quality in, quality out.Constipation is not normal. Explosive poops, while they happen, in my experience were not everyday occurrences. There shouldn’t be crying, straining, bloody, or otherwise traumatic poops happening at your house. If there is, examine what solid food is going into your baby. Juices are sometimes a problem, or cow’s milk. There could be a food allergy or a cold/flu coming on, or other issue that needs investigating.

Step 3: Get Ready to EC

Ok, ideally you’ve thought through the ideas and principles behind what you’ll feed your baby/toddler and how you’ll handle elimination. You’ve given everyone plenty of time to think you’re nuts and warm up to the idea of how nutty you are. (Hopefully you’ve spammed anyone who’ll be in a position to do anything about it with variousNYT and other mainstream media articles on EC to bolster your case.)

For your backup to EC, I’d recommend cloth diapers from a service. You could be changing 12-16 diapers a day on your newborn. The hospital or birthing center will tell you how many wet diapers you should be seeing.

Get your feeding down. I chose breastfeeding; it took a while before we all figured it out.

Cradle your newborn/older baby so that baby’s chest is against your back and you’re holding his/her thighs in your hands. Bring the baby to the sink/toilet/tub/wherever, and make a little prompting noise. Some people say “sss,” “wee,” “psss,” “poo-poo, pee-pee” whatever. Just be consistent.

Now the beauty of starting with a newborn is almost instant, guaranteed success. That little one will be voiding so often during the times s/he’s awake, I know for certain one time you take the diaper off and out will come something into the sink. (We used the sink as it was higher and easier for dad to hold the baby over.)

Good times to see if anything’s ready to come out:

• first thing upon waking
• about 10-15 minutes after eating
• after a nap
• before bedtime

Older babies will have increased the intervals in between when they void, so it’s more of a crapshoot (ha ha) when you’re able to catch something coming out. (See below; fine tuning.)

And the feeling of triumph when you and your baby do your first catch is a bit like the euphoria of scaling Everest. You know why? Because you and your tiny baby just did something TOGETHER. The result is right there in the sink. How cool is that? And, you’re beginning to envision finitude to YEARS of diapering. The end is in sight, so to speak.

This was HB’s “aha!” moment. When mom-in-law had her first “aha!” moment, somehow I went from being crazy to again being the mere means to an end (the end being the grandchild, that is) and SHE was the one who invented EC. So, people will want to own it in whatever way they can. As annoying as it is, let them.

That’s one less dirty diaper that needs laundering or clogs up a landfill.

Now wipe up and put that clean cloth diaper back on. You can of course use disposables, and we did when we traveled and during the wiggly-can’t/won’t-stop beginning walker months if we left the house. Which we tried to do, for sanity’s sake, often. But the advantage to using cloth is that your child gets instant feedback as to what’s happening in there. Today’s disposables are so absorbent, it’ll feel dry an instant after your child pees. While convenient for the parents/babysitter, this disrupts the normal feedback loop and “diaper trains” your kid. It’s hard to untrain a “diaper-trained” kid, as many parents find to their chagrin when their kid is 4 and 5 and 6 years old.

Me, I’d rather do a focused, intense 24 months or however long, than drag out diapering for a long stretch of many years.

Step 4: Fine Tuning

Everyone has seen the “poo face”: baby squirms, grimaces, reddens and or grunts.

Yep. You know what comes next.

So why not get your baby to the toilet/sink/receptacle, whip off their diaper, and let them void into the receptacle, BEFORE the poo happens?

EC is in large part reading your child so you can get ahead of the curve instead of behind it.

What can help you is knowing the general length of time or interval between pees/poos.

Again, because I am just that tightly wound, I made a chart broken into 24-hour segments. I wanted to keep on top of both how long it took before the CN got hungry again and needed to nurse, and how long it was before he needed to void.

You don’t need to be so tightly wound. I suggest observing and noting IF IT HELPS YOU. If it leaves you a nervous wreck or if you’re not able to do it, then save yourself the worry.

But I do want to say: your watch is your friend. What an incredible advantage you have over a person who can’t tell time. You can, and you can anticipate when your kid will be hungry next (and head off the low-sugar meltdown weepies), or you can anticipate when your little one will probably need to go. In the early stages, timing will be your best friend. That, and watching your kid for the signs he or she will exhibit.

Step 5: Listening

Offer a chance to eliminate at the common times above. Use your verbal signal or cue, and teach your baby ASL for “toilet” (make the letter T –fist with thumb between index and middle finger, shaken side to side). Babies can understand what you tell them long before their mouth and tongue muscles develop the ability to form clear speech. So give them a way to tell you when they need to relieve themselves. You might feel, as i did, like a complete idiot chatting and talking and making ASL signs to a young baby, who is probably just drooling and smiling at you. But they’re taking it all in. And the communication will come back to you paid tenfold.

Which leads me to:

WHEN YOUR KID SIGNALS, RESPOND IMMEDIATELY WITH ASSISTANCE.

You’d think it kinda goes without saying, but there, I said it. Loud.

Recently I observed a mom with her 3-year old toddler. In the middle of eating, he stopped and announced he had to poo. To my surprise, the mother kept doing what she was doing (it wasn’t mission critical, or open heart surgery, or even a conversation being interrupted). I even overheard her confiding that her son has constipation issues. Well, the poor guy needed to go, and no one was taking him. Teach your kid it’s always ok to tend to your body’s needs.

Elsewhere, I’ve noticed older babies making the “poo face” and then been surprised to see no activity by the attending parent, who was maybe 3 feet away. And in some cases, laughing at the “poo face.” I don’t get it. It’s okay for your kid to wear feces for say, longer than the minute it took you to notice?

My point being, if you’ve gone through the trouble of teaching your kid verbal and non-verbal cues to let you know when they need to go, PLEASE meet that need immediately. Encourage communication with supportive action.

Step 6: Listen to No’s

This one is hard. Sometimes you will know as sure as you have synapses and a pulse that your child has to go. All common sense and reason will dictate that they have to go. You’ll offer, and nothing will happen. Or it’ll happen outside the chosen receptacle.

Or five minutes later after you queried/offered. It will be exasperating, but you have to listen to the no’s as much as the yeses.

What you are trying to instill in your child is the ability to listen to his/her body and attend to its needs. Hopefully you’ll have begun cultivating this in your infant, so telling you they need to eliminate is as second nature as breathing (and why Americans wait til the defiant toddler years to start potty training is a mystery). But children will be children and there is no child alive who has skipped testing out the word “no.”

So even if your kid is grievously mistaken about his or her need to go, try with all your might to chalk it up as learning by doing. That is, an error in judgment that your favorite little person in the world made, because they’re still tiny and learning. Learning involves making mistakes. They wouldn’t be human if they didn’t make a mistake, and they wouldn’t be a human child if they didn’t make about a thousand mistakes.

The harder “no” comes from the newly mobile toddler who can’t be bothered to stop to potty or change a diaper (or even have a diaper checked), EVEN THOUGH PRIOR TO THIS THEY WERE OK WITH IT. This happened to me, and I know why: I got busy on my documentary, life was chaotic, the Cutie Nubbin had made huge language leaps and was fast becoming the Unreliable Narrator, he wanted to run and skip and do everything he could on his little legs, he was starting to wean–basically, all hell broke loose developmentally-speaking, and using the potty was last on his list.

The UN’s “no” lasted for a good eight or nine months. Periodically the sun would shine through the clouds and we’d get an easy potty here or there, but we basically went to our backup, cloth diapers. I felt like a failure.

Then I read the comments of other people who also went through a slump. I realized that because kids are so much about the moment, that you too can also get caught up in that moment determining who and what they are for all time. I realized I needed to chillax, and that this phase would pass.

What got us through was not-so-subtle propaganda. We read Everyone Poops, Potty Time With Elmo, we gave stickers/used a star chart with stickers, we bought Thomas the Tank Engine underwear, we talked about slightly older kids he knew who were learning to use the potty.

Most importantly, we made up a little book of kids’ pictures who were using the potty. Whenever HE sat on the potty, I took pictures. Pretty soon we stopped looking at the book of other kids pottying and focused on the book of pictures of him pottying. (You can draw stick figures if you’re not into photographing.) Little by little he got back on track. Our life got less chaotic. He figured he was ready to wean, and he did that and got back to pottying regularly around the same time.

Looking back, I’d say it was “two steps back to make a big jump forward.” And with the perspective I have now, I’d say to parents in a similar bind: “Don’t beat yourself up over it. And go easy on your kid.”

Your mantra for that bumpy time is: no one ever went to college still needing to use a diaper.

Because giving up nursing and going on the potty for good? Those are two huge steps into Big Boyhood, and we grownups forget that it takes a lot of bravery to set aside “baby” things and move on to other things.

Step 7: Forearmed and Forewarned

Get out and about with your kid.

Learn every public restroom’s location in the places you frequent. If you’re asking for communication, sooner or later you’ll receive it, so you’ll need to know how to follow through. It’s your job as parent to help your kid. Elimination is a basic human need. A little advance prep saves on laundry and accidents.

Travel with a potty if you need to. I keep a portable potty in my trunk. There is no shame in pottying on the floor of the back seat of the car. If ya gotta go, ya gotta go. Little bladders are not able to hold out like camels. So have some empathy and make accommodations.

If you’re out and about in that delicate stage of flying solo without diaper-backup, offer the potty frequently.

Be prepared for some accidents. this would happen anyway even if you were completely reliant on diapers of any kind. So just take it in stride.

I’m not a fan of boys who treat the entire planet/any available bush/the sidewalk as a urinal, so I never encouraged that. But in an emergency, I think a parent has to do what a parent has to do. Plus, if you’re sufficiently crunchy that your boy peeing on the tree in your yard doesn’t bother you, then go for it.

Step 8: If You Tell Me You Need to Pee/Poo, You Can Tell Me Anything

The beauty of Elimination Communication is not having a child who’s potty trained at the age of 14 months (it happens that early for some kids; for other kids, they’ve found a groove at 28 months, like my son, for example). The beauty of Elimination Communication goes back to that first time you removed your baby’s diaper because a sixth sense told you they needed to go, and voila! they did. And the two of you grinned at each other in the mirror over the bathroom sink.

You did something together. And it met your child’s need and they knew you were listening. Listening hard. (Ok, you were highly motivated to listen, but the key thing is that you were listening.)

Elimination Communication puts emphasis on the signalling–otherwise it’d be just the parents intuiting when the baby needs to go. But what I think is more valuable is the quality of being mindful and attentive to your child. Hopefully, by modeling that for them, they will know what it is to live mindfully, and be attentive to what you have to say.

Source:http://cynematic.wordpress.com/2007/10/16/elimination-communication-how-tos-and-suggestions/

Elimination Communication : Infants & Babies

Elimination Communication

Christine Gross-Loh
Japan
From NEW BEGINNINGS, Vol. 23 No. 6, November-December 2006, pp. 266-267

In recent years, most children in Western societies have begun the process of learning to use the toilet when they're toddlers. In many other areas of the world, elimination is dealt with differently. Some children are toilet-independent by the age of one. Rather than containing waste exclusively in diapers, parents watch the babies and help them to use a potty or toilet when they need to go. Thus, when the time comes for children to become completely toilet-independent, using a toilet is already such an accepted part of their lives that the transition is smooth.

This practice, known as "elimination communication," or EC, is becoming more widespread in Western societies as well. This article aims to share some basic information about elimination communication.

EC can be practiced with babies as well as with older children. Because EC is first and foremost about communication (not toilet training, which can sometimes imply a coercive or parent-led practice), it provides parents with another way to understand their children. Whether you have a newborn or a three-year-old, EC encourages parents to be sensitive and responsive to what children are trying to tell them.

At each stage during your child's early years, you will find there are ways to approach elimination and toileting that are compatible with general principles of gentle, responsive parenting.

Young Infants

For parents who fear that embarking on elimination communication with a newborn will be time-consuming, know that toileting can be done part-time -- even just once every few days or so. Some parents find it helpful to give it a try at times when the diaper would be off anyway, such as during a diaper change or before the bath.

The most important components of toilet learning at any stage, including the newborn period, are observation of your baby and getting in communication with your baby via the use of cues and signals.

Observing and becoming aware of timing and rhythms: You can begin simply by leaving your baby diaper-free, lying on an open cloth or disposable diaper in your arms, in a sling, or on some padding on the floor. Not fastening a diaper on your baby will make it easy for you to tell when he is eliminating. Take note of when he tends to go, keeping in mind that babies' patterns change often and quickly at this stage. Most young babies tend to release their bowels and bladder immediately after awakening from sleep, and during or right after nursing sessions. Newborns tend to go more frequently than older infants, which gives you more opportunity for observation.

Figuring Out Cues and Signals: With observation, you will probably start to notice that your baby makes certain faces, noises, or movements immediately prior to urinating or defecating. Your baby might start to fuss, squirm, and grimace when she feels a movement coming on. The more you observe her, the more you will be able to sense when she is about to go and be able to cue her right before or as she is having a bowel movement or urinating.

What is a "cue"? It's a sound you make that communicates to your baby that she is urinating. Your baby will start to associate it with the very sensation of elimination. The most common cue used worldwide is a shushing or soft hissing sound such as "pssss" or "shhh," made while holding your baby over a potty, bowl, or toilet. Be sure to continue to make the cue sound while she is urinating. Soon enough, your baby's imminent need to go, when combined with the cue sound and the pottying position, will signal to your baby that you're assisting her with her elimination need.

The most important thing to remember is to do this at a pace that feels right for you and your family. Some people keep their babies in diapers all the time and use EC only occasionally, others might just catch bowel movements and diaper their babies the rest of the time, while yet other families might try out a completely diaper-free lifestyle. There is no one right way to use elimination communication.

Older Infants

Once your baby is past three or four months old, toileting can become remarkably easy. In fact, some cultures begin toileting at this stage rather than at the newborn stage. Your baby's ability to hold her head up and even sit up means that she may be able to sit on a potty with your support. Her elimination patterns may be more predictable at this age as well. Again, the principles are the same as for newborns: observe your child, learn to read her signals just as you learn to tell when she is tired, overstimulated, or hungry, and then assist her with her biological need.

New signs and cues: Keep an eye out for new ways your baby may signal the need to urinate or defecate. Some of these signs at this age will include: grunting, grimacing, blowing raspberries, passing gas, an intent look, or sudden fussing or crying. To enhance communication further, this is an ideal time to introduce the American Sign Language sign for toilet. She may not repeat it back to you yet, but the foundations for mutual understanding will have been laid.

Babywearing helps: Many people who use EC with their infants also wear their babies on their bodies in a soft carrier. This is no coincidence. Babywearing can be a great aid in getting in rhythm with your baby. Babies tend not to release their bladders or bowels when being held close (although each child is unique and there are always exceptions to this). If they are comfortable and don't need to eliminate, they will remain in a state of quiet alertness. If they need to eliminate, they might squirm or otherwise let you know they want to be taken out of the sling.

Keeping baby close in this way provides a good chance for you to understand your baby's signals and rhythms. It also gives you an idea of when are good times to offer the potty to your baby.

Older Infancy, Toddlerhood, and Preschool Age

Many parents are advised by conventional toilet training experts to wait until their child is at least 18 months to two years old before even considering introducing the potty, and to do so only if their child meets certain checkpoints (for instance, can independently dress himself, can verbalize the need to go to the bathroom, or actually asks to use the toilet). This is said to initiate a "child-led" toilet training process.

However, a parent might observe that her child is interested in toileting at a much earlier stage when she won't necessarily meet all those checkpoints. EC encourages parents to be open to any window of opportunity you may see. A child-led toilet learning process essentially means being open to the fact that your child may want to begin using the toilet far earlier than most societal messages tell us.

If your child is starting out at an older age, EC principles still apply. Know that it may take some time for him to be aware of when he is urinating or defecating, but continue to communicate with him about this. Let him take the initiative as much as possible.

Bodily awareness: If your child has not used a toilet before, your initial approach will be very similar to that of parents of young babies. One good way to help him be aware of when he is urinating or defecating is to let him wear (preferably cloth) training pants or to have him eliminate without anything on at all.

Diaper-free time: Diaper-free time can be as long or as short as need be to meet your own family's needs. If you spend time apart from your child, if you have lots of carpet in the home, or if you are on the go a lot, you can make adjustments to accommodate your lifestyle. Many families find that it works well for them to have a brief period of diaper-free time every day. Being "diaper-free" can mean anything from having on a cloth training pant, a coverless cloth diaper, pint-sized underwear, or having nothing on at all. Above all, diaper-free time means being free of an exclusive reliance on diapers.

During diaper-free time, you can observe your child and cue him if you notice him eliminating. Having the diaper off will also allow him to notice the physical sensation of urinating or defecating and make the association between the sensation and the act. In the meantime, you can offer him the context he needs to put this all together by observing and verbalizing what is happening for him. A simple statement such as "You're peeing!" is sufficient.

Talk with your child about elimination: Toddlers can really express and act out their interest in pottying in a variety of ways. Play is a language children respond to, so join your child in the fun by putting his stuffed animals on the potty and cueing them, and so forth. Toddlers love routines. He may love being involved in all aspects of toileting -- wiping, flushing, and washing hands.

Summary

Elimination communication may appear at first glance to be merely about elimination. Once you embark upon this journey, however, you will realize it is a dance of communication between parent and child.

It's important to remember that EC is not about a result (toilet independence), but about the ongoing process of communication. It's not about having the first toilet-trained child in the neighborhood. It is about taking things moment by moment and learning to listen to your child and figure out what she is saying -- all valuable skills for the mother or father who wants to parent with empathy and respect.

Every family is wondrously unique. The range of experiences among families who use elimination communication reflects this variety.

Source :

http://www.llli.org/NB/NBNovDec06p266.html

Elimination communication - the natural way

Have you ever thought about how babies were toilet trained in the days before diapers? Or how they are potty trained today in places without diapers? There is a growing community of mothers and fathers who are using infant potty training (IPT) with their babies, a method similar to the way families around the world have been handling the elimination issue for centuries.

With IPT, it is possible to work with infants as well as toddlers towards accomplishing what is commonly known as "potty training". The ideal time to start is between birth and the start of mobility (around 6 months of age). But you can also start with an older baby by gearing some of the tactics towards a mobile child.

There is no English term to suitably describe “infant potty training" as a whole, since (a) an infant cannot sit on a potty and (b) the process is more akin to teamwork (with your baby) and interconnectedness than actual training. In other words, IPT is really about communication and responsiveness. It has little to do with what we normally call “training.” Communication is the key to connecting with your baby about elimination, and some people use the term elimination communication (EC) to refer to infant pottying.

Perhaps the most unique characteristic of this method is that parents typically begin working with a baby before she can even sit. Instead of beginning research on toilet training around the time a child takes her first steps, parents need to consider this method during pregnancy or the first weeks/months after delivery.

I have been writing about and researching this topic since first using it with my son in 1979 and wrote the very first book about it (Trickle Treat). This web page will tell you all the basics, and if you want to know more or need encouragement these are my two books and DVD on the topic:

Infant Potty Training: A Gentle and Primeval Method Adapted to Modern Living (380 pages), the most comprehensive book available.
Infant Potty Basics: With or Without Diapers, the Natural Way (110 pages), an abridged version for frugal or overseas families.
Potty Whispering: The Gentle Art of Infant Potty Training (2-disk DVD set with booklet).




Philosophy

Babies are smarter than we think! The big mistake that people make is to presume that a newborn baby is unaware of going to the toilet. We assume an infant is incapable of toilet learning since infants are small and uncoordinated and also because they cannot walk or talk. An infant is helpless in so many ways that it is hard for Westerners to imagine such a tiny being could be aware of peeing and pooping. It is even harder for us to believe that an infant has some control over elimination. With these preconceived and narrow views, we encourage and teach our babies to be unconcerned about wetting and soiling diapers. In short, we teach our infants to use diapers as a toilet.

A normal, healthy infant is indeed aware of the bodily function of elimination and can learn to respond to it from infancy. By using diapers, we condition and thereby train baby to go in them. Later the child must unlearn this training. This can be confusing and a traumatic experience for the child.

An infant does his best to communicate his awareness to you, but if you don't listen, he will stop communicating and gradually lose touch with the elimination functions. He will be conditioned not to care and learn that you want him to use his diaper as a toilet.

Not only is toilet training from infancy basically unheard of by many, but it also strikes some as inconvenient. With relatively few exceptions, however, toilet training is by definition inconvenient no matter when or how you do it. If you wait for your baby to self-train at 2, 3, 4 or older, you are subjected to years of diaper changes and clean-up as well as diaper struggles.

Who Can Use This Method?

Parents, parents-to-be, grandparents, nannies and anyone else interested in lovingly and patiently working with a child towards accomplishing potty learning in a gentle and fun way. Infant pottying is best used by:

a parent who spends at least the first 1 or 2 years caring for baby
a working parent with one or more trustworthy and reliable helper(s) such as a family member, nanny or friend.
a parent who can use part-time pottying on a fairly regular basis such as most mornings or evenings.
What Does It Take?

Time, diligence and patience. If you cannot devote these qualities or arrange for any assistance you may need, this is not the method for you or your baby. But if this method makes sense, if it resonates, go for it! It can’t hurt to try, and if it doesn’t work out, you can go back to full-time diapering.

When Do I Start?

The ideal time to start is between birth and around 6 months of age. During this time, there is a sensitive period where there is a window of learning open, and babies can easily focus on EC.

For parents who cannot start in infancy, there is information for late-starters below.

How Long Does It Take?

The average age of completion in the West is around 2 years, although babies have fairly good control of elimination for *many* months before completion.

Can I Do It Part Time or with Daycare?

Yes! It is absolutely fine to do part-time pottying from start to finish. If you are fairly consistent, part-time IPT is not confusing for your child. Strive to potty on a fairly regular basis, even if just once or twice a day. You are likely to get the best results at times where your child is likely to need to go. For many this is first thing in the morning, after a feeding, of before sleep.

For daycare, search for one that is open to IPT or that is willing to potty your baby every so often, perhaps along with the toddlers. At the very least, they should be willing to change your baby often.

Does it work with a Toddler and a Baby, or with Twins?

Yes, part-time pottying works well in both situations. Although your time will be limited, there is strength in numbers. For example, two or more children tend to encourage, inspire and motivate each other. The key is to stay relaxed. Take things slowly and gently. Avoid unrealistic goals.

Is It Safe?

Of course, as long as parents have the right mind-set. Parents must be relaxed and positive about working with their babies. Parents must exercise patience and gentleness; observe and respond to baby's signals on time whenever reasonably possible; and provide proper and loving support while holding their infants. This is a non-punitive method. Punishment, anger and control are NOT a part of this method. Note that this method is different from the harsh "early toilet training" method used in Western countries until the 1950s.

Does It Really Work?

Yes, but not without some effort. Success does not just happen on its own. It takes at least one committed adult and several months of perseverance to complete infant pottying. Right from the very start, there are fun and exciting daily rewards for both baby and caregiver. Baby's communication is acknowledged and encouraged. Parents are amazed at the degree of their infant's awareness and are thrilled when he signals and responds so easily and naturally.

Does My Baby Have To Be Naked, Remain Diaper-Free, or Use Cloth Diapers?

No. These are all matters of preference for you to decide. Do what works best for you and your family. Most parents use part-time diapering by keeping a diaper or training pants on their babies in between potty visits. Others prefer to leave their babies bare-bottomed or naked at home during certain times. Although most prefer cloth diapers, IPT works with disposables too.

A Wonderful Discovery (My Experience with IPT)

My first two children experienced conventional potty training. When my third son was born, I dreaded the thought of another bout of conventional toilet training which would entail additional years of diapers and began seeking a better means to accomplish this task.

I learned the basis for an alternative technique through a lady visiting us from India. She was horrified when I told her the way Westerners handle the "waste disposal issue" and explained to me the way things are done "back home" in her culture. I was skeptical when she told me that there is no need to use "the cloths" on an infant unless it is "ill of the stomach," feverish or wets the bed most nights. I had been to India several times and had noticed families peeing and pooping their babies around the countryside, but had not paid close attention. Like many others, I mistakenly assumed that Westerners could not use this technique.

I begged my new friend to tell me more and to teach me how to hold my son and get him to "go" for me, which she gladly and effortlessly did.



I was spellbound watching her communicate with my tiny 3-month-old son, who somehow instinctively knew what she wanted him to do. I can only describe the exchange and instant understanding between them--a stranger and an infant--as a wonderful discovery.

I used the technique she demonstrated, slightly modifying and adapting it to a Western lifestyle, and found it to be far superior to conventional diaper-to-potty-training. From the day I started working with my 3-month-old son, he rarely needed a diaper, day or night. He stayed dry during most of the day at age 18 months and was finished with all aspects of potty training at age 25 months.

Outlook and Source

EC begins with association and can be approached in a rational and scientific manner as well as an intuitive and spiritual one, or a combination of both depending on what works best for you and your baby.

Remember, it is teamwork, something you do together via close and trusting communication. It is not something you are doing to your baby, and it is not something your baby can do without you. If you are willing and able, and if your baby is healthy, your baby is ready for you.

Infant pottying is based on an elimination training technique used in much of Asia and rural Sub-Saharan Africa. The method has been adapted to the Western lifestyle in various ways, including the use of a sink, potty, toilet or other container; variations in elimination positions; part-time use of the technique; and, where desired, part-time use of diapers.

Synopsis of the Method

1. Observation - Lay your undiapered baby in a comfortable, warm and safe place, then observe her:

a) timing (how long and how frequently she goes after waking or feeding)
b) body language (such as twisting or grimacing while defecating)
c) sounds (such as grunting while defecating)

This can also be done using a sling. In fact, babywearing is one of the best ways to become familiar with your baby's elimination timing and patterns since you know straightaway when she goes. It is especially beneficial in cold climates or rooms without sufficient heating. Some mothers keep their babies naked in the sling, carrying them skin-to-skin, which keeps baby at a perfect body temperature. If so desired, you can keep a cloth diaper under her while in the sling. It is, of course, not a requirement to keep your baby naked in the sling. Even if she is wearing some clothing and/or a cloth dipe without a waterproof cover, you will know when she goes.

2. Anticipation or Intuition

Anticipate when your infant needs to go, then at that moment, make a watery sound such as "sssss." Alternatively, if your baby starts to go while you are observing her, immediately make the "sssss" sound. Within a few days, your baby will associate this sound with elimination.

3. Position & Toilet Place

When you think your infant needs to go, hold her gently and securely over your preferred toilet place while giving an audible signal ("sssss" or whatever sound/words you prefer). Your baby will soon associate the sound, position and place with elimination. Use whatever location and receptacle are most comfy and convenient. Examples include the bathroom sink, a mixing bowl, a basin and the outdoors. Older babies can sit between your legs on the toilet.

4. Baby-Mother Communication

From now on, pay close attention to baby's timing and signals. When you think she needs to go, hold her in position and give your signal. If it is near time to go, infants are able to relax those muscles upon receiving your cues.

How Do I Know When My Baby Needs to Go?

You can know when baby needs to go by one or more of the following:

Timing (by the clock)
Signals and cues (including body language and vocalizations)
Patterns of elimination (relation to feeding, waking, etc.)
Intuition and instinct
How Do I Dress My Baby for Best Results?

There are two main considerations that come into play and that need to be balanced.

Individual circumstances such as climate, lifestyle, health and social pressures.
The fact that the fewer layers of clothing on baby, the easier it is for both you and your baby to (a) connect and (b) learn and communicate about elimination. It is easier to read and respond to the body language and other signals of a baby who is unclothed, bare-bottomed or otherwise easily accessible. Wearing baby in a sling helps too since you are more likely to be synchronized.
The ideal situation (not always possible or desirable) is for baby to remain naked or bare-bottomed. If this is not an option:

Strive to dress baby in as few layers as possible.
Use clothing which can be quickly and easily removed (avoid buckles, buttons, etc).
There are many different ways to dress your baby for easy access. Be creative and adapt to your situation and to baby’s different phases of development. Many mothers prefer to sew their own baby clothing. Aside from using diapers as a backup, here are some other suggestions:

Clothing and equipment for all sizes and ages http://theecstore.com
For neonates, "baby bag" pajamas that tie at the bottom.
Long shirt or dress (optimum length varies depending on mobility of baby).
Stretchy shorts or pants (terrycloth, cotton knit or wool knit) with elastic waist
Training pants.
Chinese baby clothes with open crotch, available at MamaRoo For discreet, more modest Chinese outfits, please visit www.mummysmilk.com
Benefits of Infant Potty Training

The three big winners are baby, parent(s) and the environment. Here is a more complete list of the benefits of infant potty training.

Enhances bonding through closeness, natural communication and loving patience.
Responds to infants’ natural elimination communication and timing.
Taps into first window of learning (sensitive period) for toilet learning.
Helps environment by conserving/saving trees, water, petroleum and landfill space.
Eliminates or drastically reduces diaper use.
Allows babies to achieve reasonable control by 12-18 months.
Lets baby complete potty training at a relatively young age (around 24 months).
Frees baby from diapers and all negative associations (bulk between legs, chemicals, etc.)
Avoids/eliminates enuresis (bed wetting).
Prevents diaper rash.
Provides hygienic respect for your baby.
Eliminates embarrassing "accidents" for toddlers.
Allows dad or other close, trusted ones to bond and communicate with baby.
Yields big savings on diapers and laundry costs.
Keeps babies in touch with their own bodies.
Reduces risk of urinary tract infections (UTIs)
What Do Medical Experts Think?

Although infant potty training is not well known in the West, there is a growing number of doctors and pediatricians who are supportive. Many of these have either traveled abroad and witnessed the method firsthand or else are (spouses of) immigrants who grew up in cultures where this method is commonplace. Some medical experts have used this method with their own babies.

Like so many other things in life, theories and opinions on when to start toilet learning have gone back and forth over the years. Until the 1950s, most Western families started relatively young, anywhere from 3-10 months, and finished relatively young. Then came the disposable diaper industry, more hectic lifestyles, and a new theory that it is better to delay and let baby self-train when ready.

The tide is beginning to turn again, with recent research concluding that the current Western views on bladder and bowel control are flawed and that it is often better to start earlier than to delay. Despite varying Western medical opinions and psychological theories, infant toilet learning has been the mainstream method used by billions of happy and well-adjusted babies in many societies for centuries. No one can deny this fact. For a list of medical articles and supportive pediatricians, doctors and psychologists, visit the International Board for the Study , Research and Promotion of Assisted Infant Toilet Training (AITT Board).

What About Babies 6 Months and Older - Is It Too Late?

Many parents have started at 6, 9, even 12 months and have done okay by making some modifications. It is usually harder to start with a mobile baby who has been "trained" to go in a diaper or who wears disposables and does not associate the feeling of wetness with elimination. It mainly depends on your convictions. If this method resonates, if you feel it is right for you and your baby, and if your healthy baby takes to it, it is certainly worth an honest try! As long as there are no major upsets in your family life or health, you are likely to be open and receptive to your baby’s elimination communication.

Another factor to consider is that there is not a fixed cutoff age at which all babies lose their connection with the elimination functions. Each child is unique and develops in his own manner. There are parents who have learned about IPT or who have started other methods of toilet learning when their babies were 6-18 months, 2 years or even older, and who have been delighted to find that their little ones were ready, receptive and communicative about toileting at these ages. In short, the window of learning seems to remain open or accessible for some older babies. No matter what age your baby is when you first learn about IPT, I usually recommend that parents give this gentle and nurturing method a try for a few weeks, then assess whether you want to continue.

Click here to read my more detailed articles and tips on working with babies over 6 months old.

Terminology

Here are the most common ways to refer to this practice:

infant potty training (IPT)
infant pottying
elimination communication (EC)
potty whispering
assisted infant toilet training (AITT)
trickle treat (TT)
diaper free
natural infant hygiene (NIH)

Source : http://www.timl.com/tt/