Have you ever thought about how babies were toilet trained in the days before diapers? Or how they are potty trained today in places without diapers? There is a growing community of mothers and fathers who are using infant potty training (IPT) with their babies, a method similar to the way families around the world have been handling the elimination issue for centuries.
With IPT, it is possible to work with infants as well as toddlers towards accomplishing what is commonly known as "potty training". The ideal time to start is between birth and the start of mobility (around 6 months of age). But you can also start with an older baby by gearing some of the tactics towards a mobile child.
There is no English term to suitably describe “infant potty training" as a whole, since (a) an infant cannot sit on a potty and (b) the process is more akin to teamwork (with your baby) and interconnectedness than actual training. In other words, IPT is really about communication and responsiveness. It has little to do with what we normally call “training.” Communication is the key to connecting with your baby about elimination, and some people use the term elimination communication (EC) to refer to infant pottying.
Perhaps the most unique characteristic of this method is that parents typically begin working with a baby before she can even sit. Instead of beginning research on toilet training around the time a child takes her first steps, parents need to consider this method during pregnancy or the first weeks/months after delivery.
I have been writing about and researching this topic since first using it with my son in 1979 and wrote the very first book about it (Trickle Treat). This web page will tell you all the basics, and if you want to know more or need encouragement these are my two books and DVD on the topic:
Infant Potty Training: A Gentle and Primeval Method Adapted to Modern Living (380 pages), the most comprehensive book available.
Infant Potty Basics: With or Without Diapers, the Natural Way (110 pages), an abridged version for frugal or overseas families.
Potty Whispering: The Gentle Art of Infant Potty Training (2-disk DVD set with booklet).
Philosophy
Babies are smarter than we think! The big mistake that people make is to presume that a newborn baby is unaware of going to the toilet. We assume an infant is incapable of toilet learning since infants are small and uncoordinated and also because they cannot walk or talk. An infant is helpless in so many ways that it is hard for Westerners to imagine such a tiny being could be aware of peeing and pooping. It is even harder for us to believe that an infant has some control over elimination. With these preconceived and narrow views, we encourage and teach our babies to be unconcerned about wetting and soiling diapers. In short, we teach our infants to use diapers as a toilet.
A normal, healthy infant is indeed aware of the bodily function of elimination and can learn to respond to it from infancy. By using diapers, we condition and thereby train baby to go in them. Later the child must unlearn this training. This can be confusing and a traumatic experience for the child.
An infant does his best to communicate his awareness to you, but if you don't listen, he will stop communicating and gradually lose touch with the elimination functions. He will be conditioned not to care and learn that you want him to use his diaper as a toilet.
Not only is toilet training from infancy basically unheard of by many, but it also strikes some as inconvenient. With relatively few exceptions, however, toilet training is by definition inconvenient no matter when or how you do it. If you wait for your baby to self-train at 2, 3, 4 or older, you are subjected to years of diaper changes and clean-up as well as diaper struggles.
Who Can Use This Method?
Parents, parents-to-be, grandparents, nannies and anyone else interested in lovingly and patiently working with a child towards accomplishing potty learning in a gentle and fun way. Infant pottying is best used by:
a parent who spends at least the first 1 or 2 years caring for baby
a working parent with one or more trustworthy and reliable helper(s) such as a family member, nanny or friend.
a parent who can use part-time pottying on a fairly regular basis such as most mornings or evenings.
What Does It Take?
Time, diligence and patience. If you cannot devote these qualities or arrange for any assistance you may need, this is not the method for you or your baby. But if this method makes sense, if it resonates, go for it! It can’t hurt to try, and if it doesn’t work out, you can go back to full-time diapering.
When Do I Start?
The ideal time to start is between birth and around 6 months of age. During this time, there is a sensitive period where there is a window of learning open, and babies can easily focus on EC.
For parents who cannot start in infancy, there is information for late-starters below.
How Long Does It Take?
The average age of completion in the West is around 2 years, although babies have fairly good control of elimination for *many* months before completion.
Can I Do It Part Time or with Daycare?
Yes! It is absolutely fine to do part-time pottying from start to finish. If you are fairly consistent, part-time IPT is not confusing for your child. Strive to potty on a fairly regular basis, even if just once or twice a day. You are likely to get the best results at times where your child is likely to need to go. For many this is first thing in the morning, after a feeding, of before sleep.
For daycare, search for one that is open to IPT or that is willing to potty your baby every so often, perhaps along with the toddlers. At the very least, they should be willing to change your baby often.
Does it work with a Toddler and a Baby, or with Twins?
Yes, part-time pottying works well in both situations. Although your time will be limited, there is strength in numbers. For example, two or more children tend to encourage, inspire and motivate each other. The key is to stay relaxed. Take things slowly and gently. Avoid unrealistic goals.
Is It Safe?
Of course, as long as parents have the right mind-set. Parents must be relaxed and positive about working with their babies. Parents must exercise patience and gentleness; observe and respond to baby's signals on time whenever reasonably possible; and provide proper and loving support while holding their infants. This is a non-punitive method. Punishment, anger and control are NOT a part of this method. Note that this method is different from the harsh "early toilet training" method used in Western countries until the 1950s.
Does It Really Work?
Yes, but not without some effort. Success does not just happen on its own. It takes at least one committed adult and several months of perseverance to complete infant pottying. Right from the very start, there are fun and exciting daily rewards for both baby and caregiver. Baby's communication is acknowledged and encouraged. Parents are amazed at the degree of their infant's awareness and are thrilled when he signals and responds so easily and naturally.
Does My Baby Have To Be Naked, Remain Diaper-Free, or Use Cloth Diapers?
No. These are all matters of preference for you to decide. Do what works best for you and your family. Most parents use part-time diapering by keeping a diaper or training pants on their babies in between potty visits. Others prefer to leave their babies bare-bottomed or naked at home during certain times. Although most prefer cloth diapers, IPT works with disposables too.
A Wonderful Discovery (My Experience with IPT)
My first two children experienced conventional potty training. When my third son was born, I dreaded the thought of another bout of conventional toilet training which would entail additional years of diapers and began seeking a better means to accomplish this task.
I learned the basis for an alternative technique through a lady visiting us from India. She was horrified when I told her the way Westerners handle the "waste disposal issue" and explained to me the way things are done "back home" in her culture. I was skeptical when she told me that there is no need to use "the cloths" on an infant unless it is "ill of the stomach," feverish or wets the bed most nights. I had been to India several times and had noticed families peeing and pooping their babies around the countryside, but had not paid close attention. Like many others, I mistakenly assumed that Westerners could not use this technique.
I begged my new friend to tell me more and to teach me how to hold my son and get him to "go" for me, which she gladly and effortlessly did.
I was spellbound watching her communicate with my tiny 3-month-old son, who somehow instinctively knew what she wanted him to do. I can only describe the exchange and instant understanding between them--a stranger and an infant--as a wonderful discovery.
I used the technique she demonstrated, slightly modifying and adapting it to a Western lifestyle, and found it to be far superior to conventional diaper-to-potty-training. From the day I started working with my 3-month-old son, he rarely needed a diaper, day or night. He stayed dry during most of the day at age 18 months and was finished with all aspects of potty training at age 25 months.
Outlook and Source
EC begins with association and can be approached in a rational and scientific manner as well as an intuitive and spiritual one, or a combination of both depending on what works best for you and your baby.
Remember, it is teamwork, something you do together via close and trusting communication. It is not something you are doing to your baby, and it is not something your baby can do without you. If you are willing and able, and if your baby is healthy, your baby is ready for you.
Infant pottying is based on an elimination training technique used in much of Asia and rural Sub-Saharan Africa. The method has been adapted to the Western lifestyle in various ways, including the use of a sink, potty, toilet or other container; variations in elimination positions; part-time use of the technique; and, where desired, part-time use of diapers.
Synopsis of the Method
1. Observation - Lay your undiapered baby in a comfortable, warm and safe place, then observe her:
a) timing (how long and how frequently she goes after waking or feeding)
b) body language (such as twisting or grimacing while defecating)
c) sounds (such as grunting while defecating)
This can also be done using a sling. In fact, babywearing is one of the best ways to become familiar with your baby's elimination timing and patterns since you know straightaway when she goes. It is especially beneficial in cold climates or rooms without sufficient heating. Some mothers keep their babies naked in the sling, carrying them skin-to-skin, which keeps baby at a perfect body temperature. If so desired, you can keep a cloth diaper under her while in the sling. It is, of course, not a requirement to keep your baby naked in the sling. Even if she is wearing some clothing and/or a cloth dipe without a waterproof cover, you will know when she goes.
2. Anticipation or Intuition
Anticipate when your infant needs to go, then at that moment, make a watery sound such as "sssss." Alternatively, if your baby starts to go while you are observing her, immediately make the "sssss" sound. Within a few days, your baby will associate this sound with elimination.
3. Position & Toilet Place
When you think your infant needs to go, hold her gently and securely over your preferred toilet place while giving an audible signal ("sssss" or whatever sound/words you prefer). Your baby will soon associate the sound, position and place with elimination. Use whatever location and receptacle are most comfy and convenient. Examples include the bathroom sink, a mixing bowl, a basin and the outdoors. Older babies can sit between your legs on the toilet.
4. Baby-Mother Communication
From now on, pay close attention to baby's timing and signals. When you think she needs to go, hold her in position and give your signal. If it is near time to go, infants are able to relax those muscles upon receiving your cues.
How Do I Know When My Baby Needs to Go?
You can know when baby needs to go by one or more of the following:
Timing (by the clock)
Signals and cues (including body language and vocalizations)
Patterns of elimination (relation to feeding, waking, etc.)
Intuition and instinct
How Do I Dress My Baby for Best Results?
There are two main considerations that come into play and that need to be balanced.
Individual circumstances such as climate, lifestyle, health and social pressures.
The fact that the fewer layers of clothing on baby, the easier it is for both you and your baby to (a) connect and (b) learn and communicate about elimination. It is easier to read and respond to the body language and other signals of a baby who is unclothed, bare-bottomed or otherwise easily accessible. Wearing baby in a sling helps too since you are more likely to be synchronized.
The ideal situation (not always possible or desirable) is for baby to remain naked or bare-bottomed. If this is not an option:
Strive to dress baby in as few layers as possible.
Use clothing which can be quickly and easily removed (avoid buckles, buttons, etc).
There are many different ways to dress your baby for easy access. Be creative and adapt to your situation and to baby’s different phases of development. Many mothers prefer to sew their own baby clothing. Aside from using diapers as a backup, here are some other suggestions:
Clothing and equipment for all sizes and ages http://theecstore.com
For neonates, "baby bag" pajamas that tie at the bottom.
Long shirt or dress (optimum length varies depending on mobility of baby).
Stretchy shorts or pants (terrycloth, cotton knit or wool knit) with elastic waist
Training pants.
Chinese baby clothes with open crotch, available at MamaRoo For discreet, more modest Chinese outfits, please visit www.mummysmilk.com
Benefits of Infant Potty Training
The three big winners are baby, parent(s) and the environment. Here is a more complete list of the benefits of infant potty training.
Enhances bonding through closeness, natural communication and loving patience.
Responds to infants’ natural elimination communication and timing.
Taps into first window of learning (sensitive period) for toilet learning.
Helps environment by conserving/saving trees, water, petroleum and landfill space.
Eliminates or drastically reduces diaper use.
Allows babies to achieve reasonable control by 12-18 months.
Lets baby complete potty training at a relatively young age (around 24 months).
Frees baby from diapers and all negative associations (bulk between legs, chemicals, etc.)
Avoids/eliminates enuresis (bed wetting).
Prevents diaper rash.
Provides hygienic respect for your baby.
Eliminates embarrassing "accidents" for toddlers.
Allows dad or other close, trusted ones to bond and communicate with baby.
Yields big savings on diapers and laundry costs.
Keeps babies in touch with their own bodies.
Reduces risk of urinary tract infections (UTIs)
What Do Medical Experts Think?
Although infant potty training is not well known in the West, there is a growing number of doctors and pediatricians who are supportive. Many of these have either traveled abroad and witnessed the method firsthand or else are (spouses of) immigrants who grew up in cultures where this method is commonplace. Some medical experts have used this method with their own babies.
Like so many other things in life, theories and opinions on when to start toilet learning have gone back and forth over the years. Until the 1950s, most Western families started relatively young, anywhere from 3-10 months, and finished relatively young. Then came the disposable diaper industry, more hectic lifestyles, and a new theory that it is better to delay and let baby self-train when ready.
The tide is beginning to turn again, with recent research concluding that the current Western views on bladder and bowel control are flawed and that it is often better to start earlier than to delay. Despite varying Western medical opinions and psychological theories, infant toilet learning has been the mainstream method used by billions of happy and well-adjusted babies in many societies for centuries. No one can deny this fact. For a list of medical articles and supportive pediatricians, doctors and psychologists, visit the International Board for the Study , Research and Promotion of Assisted Infant Toilet Training (AITT Board).
What About Babies 6 Months and Older - Is It Too Late?
Many parents have started at 6, 9, even 12 months and have done okay by making some modifications. It is usually harder to start with a mobile baby who has been "trained" to go in a diaper or who wears disposables and does not associate the feeling of wetness with elimination. It mainly depends on your convictions. If this method resonates, if you feel it is right for you and your baby, and if your healthy baby takes to it, it is certainly worth an honest try! As long as there are no major upsets in your family life or health, you are likely to be open and receptive to your baby’s elimination communication.
Another factor to consider is that there is not a fixed cutoff age at which all babies lose their connection with the elimination functions. Each child is unique and develops in his own manner. There are parents who have learned about IPT or who have started other methods of toilet learning when their babies were 6-18 months, 2 years or even older, and who have been delighted to find that their little ones were ready, receptive and communicative about toileting at these ages. In short, the window of learning seems to remain open or accessible for some older babies. No matter what age your baby is when you first learn about IPT, I usually recommend that parents give this gentle and nurturing method a try for a few weeks, then assess whether you want to continue.
Click here to read my more detailed articles and tips on working with babies over 6 months old.
Terminology
Here are the most common ways to refer to this practice:
infant potty training (IPT)
infant pottying
elimination communication (EC)
potty whispering
assisted infant toilet training (AITT)
trickle treat (TT)
diaper free
natural infant hygiene (NIH)
Source : http://www.timl.com/tt/
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Birthing Ball - Easy labour
Using a birth ball helps birthing become shorter and easier for moms and babies. It helps babies get in better alignment in the pelvis, and allows mommys to relax deeply in an upright position.
A Birthing Ball is a professional grade physical therapy ball. Birthing Balls can help expectant/laboring women get into positions that are more comfortable and can enhance labor's progress. These positions provide movement to change the position of the baby if necessary. You may first become familiar with a Birthing Ball during childbirth education class or during a tour of the facility in which you will be giving birth. Many expectant parents have even purchased their own Birthing Balls!
How to choose a Birth Ball:
Birth Balls come in many sizes including 53 cm, 65 cm and 75 cm rounds. Bright and colorful, these are NOT the same balls as are sold in toy stores. Professional physical therapy balls are made of slow deflate materials to allow for "dismount" if there is a puncture, no latex, and weight tested to 600 lbs or more.
Ball size - woman's height
53 cm round-under 5' 2"
65 cm round-5' 2" to 5' 8"
75 cm round-over 5' 8"
About the Birthing Ball:
The Birthing Ball should be large enough for you to sit on with legs bent at a 90-degree angle. If you are a tall woman, 5'9'' or taller, you might want to use a ball larger in circumference (see chart above).
Use the Birthing Ball with a "spotter", someone to watch over you, such as a labor nurse or doula. When a mother is pregnant, the center of gravity is altered and you will need someone to help steady yourself to avoid becoming off balanced. You may want to try a birth ball base if a spotter is not always available.
The Birthing Ball should be inflated to the point that is slightly firm but still "gives"; it should roll easily. Faster Blaster pumps take half of the time of foot pumps as they double action pumps.
Always keep sharp objects away from the Birthing Ball.
The Birthing Ball can be used with both the external and internal electronic fetal monitoring, should this become necessary. Check with your labor nurse or doula for the hospital policy regarding the use of the Birthing Ball in your particular situation.
A labor nurse or doula may place a "chux" pad over the ball while the mother is laboring on it. If the water breaks or is leaking while the mother is on the Birthing Ball, a chux will help.
Before purchasing a Birthing Ball, make sure it contains no latex. This is extremely important for clients/patients with known latex allergies.
Why Use This Ball?
Sitting upright and movement on the Birthing Ball enhances descent of the baby through the pelvic bones, taking advantage of gravity.
Sitting on the ball helps keep the baby well aligned in the pelvis.
The Birthing Ball enhances relaxation of the pelvic floor muscles or "Kegels" by conforming to the mother's body without pressure. Sitting on warm compresses on the Birthing Ball will also enhance pelvic floor relaxation.
There is less strain on the hands and arms when mother is in the hands and knees position, leaning over the Birthing Ball. This is helpful if she experiences carpel tunnel syndrome.
Positioning on the Ball may speed up labor through the use of gravity.
Sitting on the Ball can be used as a support while squatting (especially the Egg ball). Squatting helps widen pelvic outlet to its maximum.
You can also use the Ball to curl around should you elect to have epidural anesthesia.
Source : http://www.birthsource.com/scripts/article.asp?articleid=199
The Benefits of Co-Sleeping
When it comes to research about co-sleeping, there's good news and there's bad news. The good news is that there is research to suggest that there are benefits to parents and infants who share a bed (or room) through the night. The bad news is that, beyond the research into the connection between co-sleeping and SIDS prevention, there's not much being done which inquires into its qualitative or long-term aspects. Until this type of research is done, we must continue to draw from the good work that is being done within the American culture, as well as from studies conducted in other cultures abroad.
What Research Shows
Benefits for infants
Co-sleeping promotes physiological regulation.
The proximity of the parent may help the infant's immature nervous system learn to self-regulate during sleep (Farooqi, 1994; Mitchell, 1997; Mosko, 1996; Nelson, 1996; Skragg, 1996). It may also help prevent SIDS by preventing the infant from entering into sleep states that are too deep. In addition, the parents' own breathing may help the infant to "remember" to breathe (McKenna, 1990; Mosko, 1996; Richard, 1998).
Parents and infants sleep better. Because of the proximity of the mother, babies do not have to fully wake and cry to get a response. As a result, mothers can tend to the infant before either of them are fully awake (McKenna). As a result, mothers were more likely to have positive evaluations of their nighttime experiences (McKenna, 1994) because they tended to sleep better and wake less fully (McKenna & Mosko, 1997).
Babies get more caregiving. Co-sleeping increases breastfeeding (Clements, 1997; McKenna, 1994; Richard et al., 1996). Even the conservative American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) admits to the breastfeeding advantages of co-sleeping (Hauck, 1998). Mothers who co-sleep breastfeed an average of twice as long as non-co-sleeping mothers (McKenna). In addition to the benefits of breastfeeding, the act of sucking increases oxygen flow, which is beneficial for both growth and immune functions. Co-sleeping infants also get more attention and protective care. Mothers who co-sleep exhibited five times the number of "protective" behaviors (such as adjusting the infant's blanket, stroking or cuddling) as solitary-sleeping mothers (McKenna & Mosko, 1997). These mothers also showed an increased sensitivity to the presence of the baby in the bed (McKenna).
Long-term Benefits
Higher self-esteem. Boys who coslept with their parents between birth and five years of age had significantly higher self-esteem and experienced less guilt and anxiety. For women, co-sleeping during childhood was associated with less discomfort about physical contact and affection as adults (Lewis & Janda, 1988). Co-sleeping appears to promote confidence, self-esteem, and intimacy, possibly by reflecting an attitude of parental acceptance (Crawford, 1994).
More positive behavior.In a study of parents on military bases, co-sleeping children received higher evaluations from their teachers than did solitary sleeping children (Forbes et al., 1992). A recent study in England showed that among the children who "never" slept in their parents bed, there was a trend to be harder to control, less happy, exhibit a greater number of tantrums, and these children were actually more fearful than children who always slept in their parents' bed, all night (Heron, 1994).
Increased life satisfaction. A large, cross-cultural study conducted on five different ethnic groups in large U.S. cities found that, across all groups, co-sleepers exhibited a general feeling of satisfaction with life (Mosenkis, 1998).
What Parents Suspect
Co-sleeping promotes sensitivity. Many parents who co-sleep feel that they become more attuned to their baby and child. They feel that their sensitivity to the needs and patterns of their baby translate into daytime sensitivity as well.
It reduces bedtime struggles.
Parents of co-sleepers know that children who sleep in their parents'' room have no reason to be afraid of bedtime. As they grow older and move into their own rooms, they have positive, secure images of sleeptime. They have no reason to equate bedtime with being alone.
It fosters an environment of acceptance.
Underlying the choice to co-sleep is a willingness to accept a child's need for the parent both day and night. A parent essentially communicates that while the child is small and needful, the parent will be there to help the child and address their needs. Co-sleeping parents tend to believe that this willingness to respond to the child's needs carries over into the daytime, and this powerfully contributes to the overall relationship with the child.
Co-sleeping is just as safe or safer than a crib.
Existing studies do not prove that co-sleeping is inherently hazardous. The elements of the sleeping environment are what dictate the level of danger to the infant. When non-smoking parents who do not abuse alcohol or drugs sleep on a firm mattress devoid of fluffy bedding, co-sleeping is a safe environment. In addition, it is likely that there are many children whose lives have been saved by sleeping next to their parents. There is anecdotal evidence, for instance, of mothers who have noticed their child not breathing and were able to stimulate them to breathe.
Common Co-Sleeping Myths
Children Can Suffocate.
The recent Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) finding that adult beds are inherently hazardous is both misleading and inaccurate. Parents should know that this recent campaign is sponsored and financed by the Juvenile Product Manufacturing Association (i.e. crib manufacturers), an organization that has everything to gain from parents choosing to buy cribs. Parents should also know that perhaps millions of parents sleep safely with their infants every year. A recent study persuasively documented that babies who sleep on their backs with a nonsmoking, non-drinking, parent who did not abuse drugs show no greater risk than solitary sleepers.
Dr. McKenna, professor of anthropology and director of the Mother-Infant Sleep Lab at Notre Dame, gives the following safety suggestions: "Infants should sleep on firm surfaces, clean surfaces, in the absence of smoke, under light (but comfortable) blanketing, and their heads should never be covered. The bed should not have any stuffed animals or pillows around the infant and never should an infant be placed to sleep on top of a pillow. Sheepskins or other fluffy material and especially beanbag mattresses should never be used. Water beds can be dangerous, too, and the mattresses should always tightly intersect the bedframe. Infants should never sleep on couches or sofas -- with or without adults -- where they can slip down (face first) into the crevice or get wedged against the back of a couch."
If they sleep in your bed, they'll never leave. This has never been studied or documented, and anecdotal evidence from co-sleeping parents does not bear this out. Many co-sleeping parents report that their children become willing to leave, with little or no persuasion, on their own around age two or three, as they mature physically, emotionally and cognitively. These families also report that there are many ways to help children find their own sleeping space.
Co-sleeping families tend not to see things in terms of habits that need to be broken, but as patterns that can be established, but that continually evolve and change. For co-sleeping families, laying the foundation for security and closeness takes precedence over early independence.
Source : http://www.attachmentparenting.org/support/articles/artbenefitscosleep.php
What Research Shows
Benefits for infants
Co-sleeping promotes physiological regulation.
The proximity of the parent may help the infant's immature nervous system learn to self-regulate during sleep (Farooqi, 1994; Mitchell, 1997; Mosko, 1996; Nelson, 1996; Skragg, 1996). It may also help prevent SIDS by preventing the infant from entering into sleep states that are too deep. In addition, the parents' own breathing may help the infant to "remember" to breathe (McKenna, 1990; Mosko, 1996; Richard, 1998).
Parents and infants sleep better. Because of the proximity of the mother, babies do not have to fully wake and cry to get a response. As a result, mothers can tend to the infant before either of them are fully awake (McKenna). As a result, mothers were more likely to have positive evaluations of their nighttime experiences (McKenna, 1994) because they tended to sleep better and wake less fully (McKenna & Mosko, 1997).
Babies get more caregiving. Co-sleeping increases breastfeeding (Clements, 1997; McKenna, 1994; Richard et al., 1996). Even the conservative American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) admits to the breastfeeding advantages of co-sleeping (Hauck, 1998). Mothers who co-sleep breastfeed an average of twice as long as non-co-sleeping mothers (McKenna). In addition to the benefits of breastfeeding, the act of sucking increases oxygen flow, which is beneficial for both growth and immune functions. Co-sleeping infants also get more attention and protective care. Mothers who co-sleep exhibited five times the number of "protective" behaviors (such as adjusting the infant's blanket, stroking or cuddling) as solitary-sleeping mothers (McKenna & Mosko, 1997). These mothers also showed an increased sensitivity to the presence of the baby in the bed (McKenna).
Long-term Benefits
Higher self-esteem. Boys who coslept with their parents between birth and five years of age had significantly higher self-esteem and experienced less guilt and anxiety. For women, co-sleeping during childhood was associated with less discomfort about physical contact and affection as adults (Lewis & Janda, 1988). Co-sleeping appears to promote confidence, self-esteem, and intimacy, possibly by reflecting an attitude of parental acceptance (Crawford, 1994).
More positive behavior.In a study of parents on military bases, co-sleeping children received higher evaluations from their teachers than did solitary sleeping children (Forbes et al., 1992). A recent study in England showed that among the children who "never" slept in their parents bed, there was a trend to be harder to control, less happy, exhibit a greater number of tantrums, and these children were actually more fearful than children who always slept in their parents' bed, all night (Heron, 1994).
Increased life satisfaction. A large, cross-cultural study conducted on five different ethnic groups in large U.S. cities found that, across all groups, co-sleepers exhibited a general feeling of satisfaction with life (Mosenkis, 1998).
What Parents Suspect
Co-sleeping promotes sensitivity. Many parents who co-sleep feel that they become more attuned to their baby and child. They feel that their sensitivity to the needs and patterns of their baby translate into daytime sensitivity as well.
It reduces bedtime struggles.
Parents of co-sleepers know that children who sleep in their parents'' room have no reason to be afraid of bedtime. As they grow older and move into their own rooms, they have positive, secure images of sleeptime. They have no reason to equate bedtime with being alone.
It fosters an environment of acceptance.
Underlying the choice to co-sleep is a willingness to accept a child's need for the parent both day and night. A parent essentially communicates that while the child is small and needful, the parent will be there to help the child and address their needs. Co-sleeping parents tend to believe that this willingness to respond to the child's needs carries over into the daytime, and this powerfully contributes to the overall relationship with the child.
Co-sleeping is just as safe or safer than a crib.
Existing studies do not prove that co-sleeping is inherently hazardous. The elements of the sleeping environment are what dictate the level of danger to the infant. When non-smoking parents who do not abuse alcohol or drugs sleep on a firm mattress devoid of fluffy bedding, co-sleeping is a safe environment. In addition, it is likely that there are many children whose lives have been saved by sleeping next to their parents. There is anecdotal evidence, for instance, of mothers who have noticed their child not breathing and were able to stimulate them to breathe.
Common Co-Sleeping Myths
Children Can Suffocate.
The recent Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) finding that adult beds are inherently hazardous is both misleading and inaccurate. Parents should know that this recent campaign is sponsored and financed by the Juvenile Product Manufacturing Association (i.e. crib manufacturers), an organization that has everything to gain from parents choosing to buy cribs. Parents should also know that perhaps millions of parents sleep safely with their infants every year. A recent study persuasively documented that babies who sleep on their backs with a nonsmoking, non-drinking, parent who did not abuse drugs show no greater risk than solitary sleepers.
Dr. McKenna, professor of anthropology and director of the Mother-Infant Sleep Lab at Notre Dame, gives the following safety suggestions: "Infants should sleep on firm surfaces, clean surfaces, in the absence of smoke, under light (but comfortable) blanketing, and their heads should never be covered. The bed should not have any stuffed animals or pillows around the infant and never should an infant be placed to sleep on top of a pillow. Sheepskins or other fluffy material and especially beanbag mattresses should never be used. Water beds can be dangerous, too, and the mattresses should always tightly intersect the bedframe. Infants should never sleep on couches or sofas -- with or without adults -- where they can slip down (face first) into the crevice or get wedged against the back of a couch."
If they sleep in your bed, they'll never leave. This has never been studied or documented, and anecdotal evidence from co-sleeping parents does not bear this out. Many co-sleeping parents report that their children become willing to leave, with little or no persuasion, on their own around age two or three, as they mature physically, emotionally and cognitively. These families also report that there are many ways to help children find their own sleeping space.
Co-sleeping families tend not to see things in terms of habits that need to be broken, but as patterns that can be established, but that continually evolve and change. For co-sleeping families, laying the foundation for security and closeness takes precedence over early independence.
Source : http://www.attachmentparenting.org/support/articles/artbenefitscosleep.php
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Swaddling The Baby
Swaddling, which was popularized in the parenting book "The Happiest Baby on the Block," is actually a very old and common practice.
Benefits of Swaddling
Most parents say that swaddling helps their babies get to sleep, stay asleep, and get comforted quickly, especially when they are newborns. A properly-swaddled baby feels warm and secure, and the wrap can help prevent a baby from throwing his arms up and startling himself, or even scratching his face.
Some babies don't like being swaddled, though. If your baby doesn't, you can try swaddling him a bit looser or leaving his arms out of the blanket altogether.
Swaddling a Baby
Swaddling a baby is harder than it looks. When you are in the newborn nursery, your baby is often handed to you in a perfectly swaddled little "package." How do they do that? Lots of practice is one key, but the large, thin, cotton blankets that the typical newborn nursery uses also help. Many baby blankets that parents have are too small and thick to be good swaddling blankets.
How to Swaddle a Baby:
Lay the blanket out on a flat surface in the shape of a diamond.
Fold down three or four inches of the top edge of the blanket.
Place your baby on the blanket so that his head is overlapping the top edge you turned down.
Tuck your baby's right arm into the flap made by the folded down edge of the blanket and the right corner of the blanket. Pull that corner across his body, tucking it behind the opposite side of his back.
Bring the bottom corner of the blanket up and tuck it inside the blanket near his chest.
Tuck your baby's left arm into the flap made by the folded down edge of the blanket and the left corner of the blanket. Pull that corner across his body, tucking it behind the blanket on his back.
If you have problems swaddling your baby, you can actually buy a swaddling blanket with Velcro flaps to make the procedure easier.
When to Stop Swaddling
Most parents only swaddle their babies when they are newborns. Once they are one or two months-old, many babies don't need the extra warmth or security they were getting from swaddling anymore.
Studies have shown that swaddling doesn't help infants with excessive crying once they are two months-old anyway.
Still, some parents say it does seem to help older infants who are particularly fussy or who don't sleep well. Swaddling a baby does become a safety issue once your baby is able to roll over. You don't want a tightly-swaddled baby to roll over onto his stomach, since that could be a risk factor for SIDS.
Keep in mind that babies often begin to roll over some time between two to five months, so that is a good time to stop swaddling and get your baby used to falling asleep on his own. At the very least, you can begin to loosen your baby's swaddling blanket to help him get used to sleeping without being wrapped tightly.
Other reasons to stop swaddling:
Your baby may be getting overheated, which is also a risk factor for SIDS.
Swaddling is beginning to limit your infant's movements, which is why many people who continue to swaddle their baby at night stop doing so during the day once their baby is about a month old.
Your baby doesn't like being swaddled anymore.
Source : http://pediatrics.about.com/od/weeklyquestion/a/0607_swaddling.htm
What to Buy : Baby and Mummy Checklist
To buy :
> breast-pump (electric)
> night-light(dim - for feeding time)
> maternity pads (avoid with wings - can get stuck in the wrong places) - plenty
> large dark underwear - plenty
> breast-feeding bras
> nipple cream
> sleeping bag for the baby - if the weather depands it - it won't kick off the covers
> breast pads
> comfy tracksuits
> nappies - plenty
> baby nail clippers
> small feeding bottle with rinser (Mothercare sterilizer bottles are pretty good)
> burp cloths - plenty
> soft pillows
> wrap-tops for breast-feeding
> baby oil
> Baby grows with inbuilt scratch mittens - warm baby hands + no scratching
> bibs
> washing machine + dryer
>
Not much use:
> Moses basket
> Too many new-born clothes
> baby bath
> changing tables
> mothercare nappies
> nappy bins
**Babys need love, not stuff, whatever you get don't worry too much about getting everything**
> breast-pump (electric)
> night-light(dim - for feeding time)
> maternity pads (avoid with wings - can get stuck in the wrong places) - plenty
> large dark underwear - plenty
> breast-feeding bras
> nipple cream
> sleeping bag for the baby - if the weather depands it - it won't kick off the covers
> breast pads
> comfy tracksuits
> nappies - plenty
> baby nail clippers
> small feeding bottle with rinser (Mothercare sterilizer bottles are pretty good)
> burp cloths - plenty
> soft pillows
> wrap-tops for breast-feeding
> baby oil
> Baby grows with inbuilt scratch mittens - warm baby hands + no scratching
> bibs
> washing machine + dryer
>
Not much use:
> Moses basket
> Too many new-born clothes
> baby bath
> changing tables
> mothercare nappies
> nappy bins
**Babys need love, not stuff, whatever you get don't worry too much about getting everything**
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Avoiding The First C-Section: Five Precautions to Take
In honor of Cesarean Awareness Month, featured in theCourtroom Mama blog, I am continuing the topic of avoiding the first c-section. Why is it so important to avoid the first one?
> It’s major abdominal surgery, and carries increased risks for mother and baby
> It often puts the mother in the position of having repeat c-sections, because she cannot find support for vaginal delivery after a cesarean
> It increases the risk of abnormal implantation of the placenta, which can lead to hemorrhaging or need for hysterectomy
> It increases the risk of unexplained stillbirth in a subsequent child.
Far too many first-timers make the mistake of doing everything they can to speed labor along. All too often, their efforts succeed at nothing but making them miserable and exhausted. Allow labor to unfold in its own time.
No one will argue that c-sections can be lifesaving under certain circumstances. Placental separation, placenta previa, cord prolapse, and certain abnormal presentations of the baby might cause injury or death to mother and child if it were not for the ability to deliver a baby by cesarean. I am thankful we have the ability to perform this surgery in a very safe manner. However, the majority of c-sections are not done for emergent, life-saving reasons. It’s those c-sections I want to focus on preventing.
Since most women having a primary (first-time) c-section are also having their first baby, I have five simple precautions that have been invaluable in my practice in helping women to avoid a c-section. I am writing from the perspective of hospital birth, knowing that the majority of women will not choose home birth, although I believe this is the number one way to avoid a c-section:
1. Stay at home in labor as long as possible, and consider giving birth at home. Why?
Consider an animal in labor. If you’ve ever observed a cat or dog preparing to give birth, you may have noticed that they seek solitude. If they are disturbed during labor, they ahve a natural “fight or flight” reflex that slows or halts labor, allowing them to move to a safer location. While we as human women can intellectually understand the reasons for moving to another location (the hospital) to give birth, our bodies may still respond with a slowing of the labor process.
It is understood that pain relieving medications can have a slowing effect on the process of labor. Epidurals are associated with a higher rate of vacuum, forceps and cesarean births in some studies. Yet it is difficult for a woman in hard labor to resist the offering of total relief of her pain. When you are at home, you know the pain medication is not available, and so the mind does not focus on it. It is easier to work with the contractions when you aren’t constantly thinking of the epidural available to you in only minutes.
Staying home in the earlier stages of labor helps you to avoid the urge that hospital staff will feel to “speed things along” if your first part of labor takes many hours. It is common for dilation from zero to four or five centimeters to take many hours, and sometimes more than one day. If you are in the hospital and you are not yet dilated to four centimeters and having contractions three or four minutes apart, you are not in active labor. This part of labor is best spent at home.
2. Hire a doula if you can possibly afford it. If not, seek out an older woman who has had several children naturally herself, or has been present at several natural births, to be with you at home until you decide to go to the hospital.
A woman who is familiar with the process of a normal birth will be invaluable to you in helping you know when it is time to got to the hospital. She can reassure you that what you are feeling is normal, that you can do it, and that you are stronger than you think.
Many women are afraid to stay home in labor. A doula or experienced woman will be aware of the normal process of labor and be able to help you feel calm about laboring at home.
3. Find a practitioner who does not put arbitrary time limits on how long you can be in labor.
If you are feeling strong, the baby is doing well, and you want to keep going, there should be nor reason to rush to a c-section simply because the labor is taking longer than average.
4. Carry on your usual activities as long as possible.
Far too many first-timers make the mistake of doing everything they can to speed labor along. All too often, their efforts succeed at nothing but making them miserable and exhausted. Allow labor to unfold in its own time. Ignore the contractions until you are physically incapable of doing anything else during a contraction as well as in between contractions. This is where many women take their labor too seriously. They think because they have to breathe with a contraction, they are in hard labor. The actions of the mother between contractions are more indicative of the stage of labor. During the latter stages of dilation, the woman is usually quiet, tired, and may even fall asleep between contractions. She does not feel like talking much, or doing anything but resting before the next contraction. If your labor starts in the day, do what you normally would have been doing if you’d not started labor. If your labor starts at night, stay in bed and try to sleep, at least between contractions. If you cannot sleep, at least rest until your normal getting-up time.
5. Stay off the fetal monitor!
The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists has published guidelines for intermittent auscultation of the baby, stating that it is just as safe for low-risk pregnancies as continual monitoring. It has the added benefit of having a lower c-section rate. This suggests that many c-sections are done for “fetal distress” seen on the monitor tracing, when the baby is actually fine. Once you allow someone to connect you to the continual monitor, you most likely won’t be off of it for the rest of your labor. What is intermittent auscultation? It is not being connected tot he monitor for 20 minutes out of every hour, as many hospitals’ protocols require. Rather, it is listening to the baby’s heart rate with a hand-held doppler before, during, and after a couple of contractions every 15-30 minutes during the first stage of labor. A skilled practitioner can determine if the criteria indicating fetal well-being are present, even with a hand-held doppler.
Source : http://www.themidwifenextdoor.com/?p=769
> It’s major abdominal surgery, and carries increased risks for mother and baby
> It often puts the mother in the position of having repeat c-sections, because she cannot find support for vaginal delivery after a cesarean
> It increases the risk of abnormal implantation of the placenta, which can lead to hemorrhaging or need for hysterectomy
> It increases the risk of unexplained stillbirth in a subsequent child.
Far too many first-timers make the mistake of doing everything they can to speed labor along. All too often, their efforts succeed at nothing but making them miserable and exhausted. Allow labor to unfold in its own time.
No one will argue that c-sections can be lifesaving under certain circumstances. Placental separation, placenta previa, cord prolapse, and certain abnormal presentations of the baby might cause injury or death to mother and child if it were not for the ability to deliver a baby by cesarean. I am thankful we have the ability to perform this surgery in a very safe manner. However, the majority of c-sections are not done for emergent, life-saving reasons. It’s those c-sections I want to focus on preventing.
Since most women having a primary (first-time) c-section are also having their first baby, I have five simple precautions that have been invaluable in my practice in helping women to avoid a c-section. I am writing from the perspective of hospital birth, knowing that the majority of women will not choose home birth, although I believe this is the number one way to avoid a c-section:
1. Stay at home in labor as long as possible, and consider giving birth at home. Why?
Consider an animal in labor. If you’ve ever observed a cat or dog preparing to give birth, you may have noticed that they seek solitude. If they are disturbed during labor, they ahve a natural “fight or flight” reflex that slows or halts labor, allowing them to move to a safer location. While we as human women can intellectually understand the reasons for moving to another location (the hospital) to give birth, our bodies may still respond with a slowing of the labor process.
It is understood that pain relieving medications can have a slowing effect on the process of labor. Epidurals are associated with a higher rate of vacuum, forceps and cesarean births in some studies. Yet it is difficult for a woman in hard labor to resist the offering of total relief of her pain. When you are at home, you know the pain medication is not available, and so the mind does not focus on it. It is easier to work with the contractions when you aren’t constantly thinking of the epidural available to you in only minutes.
Staying home in the earlier stages of labor helps you to avoid the urge that hospital staff will feel to “speed things along” if your first part of labor takes many hours. It is common for dilation from zero to four or five centimeters to take many hours, and sometimes more than one day. If you are in the hospital and you are not yet dilated to four centimeters and having contractions three or four minutes apart, you are not in active labor. This part of labor is best spent at home.
2. Hire a doula if you can possibly afford it. If not, seek out an older woman who has had several children naturally herself, or has been present at several natural births, to be with you at home until you decide to go to the hospital.
A woman who is familiar with the process of a normal birth will be invaluable to you in helping you know when it is time to got to the hospital. She can reassure you that what you are feeling is normal, that you can do it, and that you are stronger than you think.
Many women are afraid to stay home in labor. A doula or experienced woman will be aware of the normal process of labor and be able to help you feel calm about laboring at home.
3. Find a practitioner who does not put arbitrary time limits on how long you can be in labor.
If you are feeling strong, the baby is doing well, and you want to keep going, there should be nor reason to rush to a c-section simply because the labor is taking longer than average.
4. Carry on your usual activities as long as possible.
Far too many first-timers make the mistake of doing everything they can to speed labor along. All too often, their efforts succeed at nothing but making them miserable and exhausted. Allow labor to unfold in its own time. Ignore the contractions until you are physically incapable of doing anything else during a contraction as well as in between contractions. This is where many women take their labor too seriously. They think because they have to breathe with a contraction, they are in hard labor. The actions of the mother between contractions are more indicative of the stage of labor. During the latter stages of dilation, the woman is usually quiet, tired, and may even fall asleep between contractions. She does not feel like talking much, or doing anything but resting before the next contraction. If your labor starts in the day, do what you normally would have been doing if you’d not started labor. If your labor starts at night, stay in bed and try to sleep, at least between contractions. If you cannot sleep, at least rest until your normal getting-up time.
5. Stay off the fetal monitor!
The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists has published guidelines for intermittent auscultation of the baby, stating that it is just as safe for low-risk pregnancies as continual monitoring. It has the added benefit of having a lower c-section rate. This suggests that many c-sections are done for “fetal distress” seen on the monitor tracing, when the baby is actually fine. Once you allow someone to connect you to the continual monitor, you most likely won’t be off of it for the rest of your labor. What is intermittent auscultation? It is not being connected tot he monitor for 20 minutes out of every hour, as many hospitals’ protocols require. Rather, it is listening to the baby’s heart rate with a hand-held doppler before, during, and after a couple of contractions every 15-30 minutes during the first stage of labor. A skilled practitioner can determine if the criteria indicating fetal well-being are present, even with a hand-held doppler.
Source : http://www.themidwifenextdoor.com/?p=769
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Epidural vs Hypnobabies
As a Mom who had 2 epidurals and 2 Hypnobabies, here's why I am such a strong advocate for Hypnobabies:
I can use hypnosis from the very moment my birthing time starts. I do not have to load up the car, drive across down ready to jump out of my skin, wait until a nurse is convinced I'm progressing, convinces a doctor of such, wait for orders to be recorded, wait for the anesthesiologist, and wait for it to take effect, wait for it to be given again, or worse, wait for it to wear off so I can push
effectively. I decide, nobody else decides for me, and I have at my
hand the tools for far better relief than I ever got from an epidural.
Hypnosis does not involve someone who may be very tired poking a
sharp instrument into a part of my body that likely wasn't designed
to be treated that way.
Hypnosis doesn't hurt. There is no local anesthesia needed to use
hypnosis, and it doesn't involve a big long needle or a wire to be
threaded into a tiny space in my spine.
Hypnosis doesn't require me to get into odd positions at the least
pleasant time.
I can't get a "hypnosis headache"
I can actually feel what's going on, and so while I don't have pain, I feel... restless, or like I need to turn, or like perhaps being on my hands and knees would be good, or water would be good, or any other number of things that help ensure baby is in the best possible position, thus shortening my birthing time immeasurably.
Because I do not have an epidural I am much more likely to have the
freedom to walk a lot during my birthing time, or lie in positions
that work for my body and baby, not for picking up the signal of the toco or doppler.
As paradoxical as it may sound, natural childbirth really does leave you more energized. I always scoffed at that, wondering how women who admitted they were in "pain" could have more energy than me who was drugged (I did have some small measure of pain relief). I had my first Hypnobaby and I knew: it just is. Not being drugged is a big deal in bouncing back from birth. It made birthing my son a
relatively minor physical event compared to the other two before, I
had energy, and strength, and was ready to take on the role of a
larger family, much more so than when I had epidurals.
Basically I make most such decisions in my life based on a kind of
risk/benefit ratio. In my particular case, that would weigh heavily
in Hypnobabies favor because I know it to be very low risk and very
successful, whereas the success to risk ratio for me for an epidural is not quite so encouraging.
However epidurals do seem to work for the vast majority of women, so then it comes down to a woman doing her research and determining
what's important to her.
Just personal opinion here: If you commit to Hypnobabies, if you
practice Hypnobabies, if you are willing to do what it takes,
Hypnobabies will work so wonderfully you'll have no doubts. All it
takes is that you know you want it and will do what it takes to get it.
Crystal
I would just like to add... if you use Hypnosis you could still choose to have an epidural if you want... most mom's find they don't need or want one, but it is always an option (at a hospital). So what do you have to loose by using Hypnosis?
Source : http://www.pregnancybirthandbabies.com/epidural.htm
I can use hypnosis from the very moment my birthing time starts. I do not have to load up the car, drive across down ready to jump out of my skin, wait until a nurse is convinced I'm progressing, convinces a doctor of such, wait for orders to be recorded, wait for the anesthesiologist, and wait for it to take effect, wait for it to be given again, or worse, wait for it to wear off so I can push
effectively. I decide, nobody else decides for me, and I have at my
hand the tools for far better relief than I ever got from an epidural.
Hypnosis does not involve someone who may be very tired poking a
sharp instrument into a part of my body that likely wasn't designed
to be treated that way.
Hypnosis doesn't hurt. There is no local anesthesia needed to use
hypnosis, and it doesn't involve a big long needle or a wire to be
threaded into a tiny space in my spine.
Hypnosis doesn't require me to get into odd positions at the least
pleasant time.
I can't get a "hypnosis headache"
I can actually feel what's going on, and so while I don't have pain, I feel... restless, or like I need to turn, or like perhaps being on my hands and knees would be good, or water would be good, or any other number of things that help ensure baby is in the best possible position, thus shortening my birthing time immeasurably.
Because I do not have an epidural I am much more likely to have the
freedom to walk a lot during my birthing time, or lie in positions
that work for my body and baby, not for picking up the signal of the toco or doppler.
As paradoxical as it may sound, natural childbirth really does leave you more energized. I always scoffed at that, wondering how women who admitted they were in "pain" could have more energy than me who was drugged (I did have some small measure of pain relief). I had my first Hypnobaby and I knew: it just is. Not being drugged is a big deal in bouncing back from birth. It made birthing my son a
relatively minor physical event compared to the other two before, I
had energy, and strength, and was ready to take on the role of a
larger family, much more so than when I had epidurals.
Basically I make most such decisions in my life based on a kind of
risk/benefit ratio. In my particular case, that would weigh heavily
in Hypnobabies favor because I know it to be very low risk and very
successful, whereas the success to risk ratio for me for an epidural is not quite so encouraging.
However epidurals do seem to work for the vast majority of women, so then it comes down to a woman doing her research and determining
what's important to her.
Just personal opinion here: If you commit to Hypnobabies, if you
practice Hypnobabies, if you are willing to do what it takes,
Hypnobabies will work so wonderfully you'll have no doubts. All it
takes is that you know you want it and will do what it takes to get it.
Crystal
I would just like to add... if you use Hypnosis you could still choose to have an epidural if you want... most mom's find they don't need or want one, but it is always an option (at a hospital). So what do you have to loose by using Hypnosis?
Source : http://www.pregnancybirthandbabies.com/epidural.htm
Hypnosis for Childbirth: What Is It and Does It Work?
by Kerry Tuschhoff, HCHI, CHt, CI
Mention Labor and Delivery to an expectant mom in her last trimester, and chances are good that her heart will begin to race, her mind floods with concern and in some cases, panic. She knows that the day is coming when a force much bigger than herself will take over and her body will govern itself completely. For some women, this is a very fearful event, but for hypno-moms, it is merely a challenge.
These wise women use hypnosis to eliminate pain and fear from the birthing experience. In the past, the word "hypnosis" conjured up images of stage hypnotists re-creating Elvis, or mesmerizing others into embarrassing situations. Now it is common for hypnosis to be used therapeutically in many areas of medicine, dental anesthesia and personal therapy sessions. Even so, there are many misconceptions regarding hypnosis that can dissuade those contemplating this powerful tool. Here are a few FACTS:
All hypnosis is self-hypnosis; the hypnotherapist is only the guide. A person chooses to enter into a hypnotic state, stay in and come out at will.
Approximately 90-95% of the population can be hypnotized. Willingness, belief and motivation have great influence over hypnotizability.
During hypnosis you are neither asleep nor unconscious, and will always "come out" when you wish.
Stronger-minded and stronger-willed people are easier to hypnotize; not the other way around as is usually assumed.
You cannot be made to divulge information or do anything against your will while in hypnosis.
Hypnosis is not Satanic or religion-oriented at all, just a way to direct your inner mind toward the positive.
What about Hypnosis for Childbirth?
Hypnosis is used in medical and dental procedures with great success by patients who have life-threatening allergies to anesthetics, allowing them to undergo surgeries with no drugs and no pain. We know therefore that the mind can be trained to experience discomfort as only pressure, and that is what is achieved in childbirth hypnosis as well. In addition, with labor, the more relaxation the mother experiences, the more comfort she will have, and the depth of relaxation necessary can easily be achieved with hypnosis, as physical relaxation is learned and practiced daily in preparation for birth using guided visualizations followed by positive hypnotic suggestions. When the critical conscious mind is by-passed with hypnosis, the inner mind can literally be reprogrammed to believe that birth will be comfortable, easy and joyous. Software for your mind!
Fear and Expectation
In other cultures, childbirth is regarded as a natural, normal event in a woman's life. The birthing women are given support from other women, and children are often present to witness the event. In this way, birth is celebrated and honored. Young girls then grow up with the belief system that birth is a positive event and their expectations of childbirth reflect this attitude. As a result, their births are similar to their predecessors; without pain and fear. They have a positive expectation of childbirth. In our culture, it is very much the opposite. For many generations we have been told that delivering a baby is many hours of painfully agonizing work, to be faced with fear and trepidation. We have heard stories from well-meaning friends and family that send shivers up our spines, and so the legacy continues. We experience pain in childbirth, in part because we very much expect to!
When learning about how the mind controls the body, the expectant couple is taught to surround themselves with only positive people and messages, to create a positive view of childbirth and the expectation that their birth will be the beautiful, peaceful experience that they want. Fear Clearing Sessions are integral to this process, as they allow each person to address fears they have, work through possible solutions and then release them. Fear in labor can create tension, which creates pain, then more fear, and the cycle continues. Fear and anxiety can also create adrenaline production in the body, causing the labor to become dysfunctional, a common reason for Cesarean Section surgery. Freedom from fear can make a huge difference in the birthing experience.
Hypnosis for childbirth teaches a woman how to enter into self-hypnosis instantly, and create her own natural anesthesia whenever and wherever she needs it. She has total control over her body, and is an active participant in her birth process. As labor progresses, she relaxes even more, goes deeper inside herself, trusting in her body's natural ability to give birth with ease and comfort. Her mind is programmed to give her exactly what she needs.
Too good to be true?
Can women give birth without experiencing pain? They can, but there are many variables in labor and birth that can affect the outcome, and couples need to have a positive but realistic view of hypnosis for childbirth. Each pregnant woman and her partner must take responsibility for the choices they make while in labor and how they can affect the dynamics and outcome. Many a wonderful birth has been thwarted by not realizing how to make positive, informed choices, yet these issues are easily addressed and learned in a good consumer oriented childbirth class such as Hypnobabies, or by doing research.
Without a doubt, women using hypnosis are much calmer and more relaxed during labor, which automatically creates more comfort, as well as having *powerful* post-hypnotic suggestions to actually eliminate pain and fear. How effective is this? Statistics will vary by the program and method chosen, depending on the length and number of hypnosis sessions, the materials used in each, and the skill of the hypnotherapist or teacher, as well as the dedication and compliance to the program of each birthing couple. Ideally, hypnosis for childbirth instructors will have backgrounds in both hypnotherapy and childbirth education, and be able to address each woman's personal needs. With adequate preparation and trust in the natural process of birth, most women can have much more relaxed and comfortable births, with many actually free of pain. It is important to know that the childbirth hypnosis program you choose to use will directly affect your success in having a comfortable birth, so educate yourself before choosing.
Benefits of using hypnosis for childbirth:
Fewer drugs or no drugs at all means less risk of side effects on mother and baby.
Shorter labors - resistance of the birthing muscles as a response to pain is minimized or eliminated.
An awake, energized mother, due to total relaxation throughout the birthing process.
A calm, peaceful birthing environment.
Breech and posterior babies can be turned using hypnosis.
Fewer interventions and complications during labor.
Babies who are better sleepers and nursers due to fewer drugs in their systems.
Mention Labor and Delivery to an expectant mom in her last trimester, and chances are good that her heart will begin to race, her mind floods with concern and in some cases, panic. She knows that the day is coming when a force much bigger than herself will take over and her body will govern itself completely. For some women, this is a very fearful event, but for hypno-moms, it is merely a challenge.
These wise women use hypnosis to eliminate pain and fear from the birthing experience. In the past, the word "hypnosis" conjured up images of stage hypnotists re-creating Elvis, or mesmerizing others into embarrassing situations. Now it is common for hypnosis to be used therapeutically in many areas of medicine, dental anesthesia and personal therapy sessions. Even so, there are many misconceptions regarding hypnosis that can dissuade those contemplating this powerful tool. Here are a few FACTS:
All hypnosis is self-hypnosis; the hypnotherapist is only the guide. A person chooses to enter into a hypnotic state, stay in and come out at will.
Approximately 90-95% of the population can be hypnotized. Willingness, belief and motivation have great influence over hypnotizability.
During hypnosis you are neither asleep nor unconscious, and will always "come out" when you wish.
Stronger-minded and stronger-willed people are easier to hypnotize; not the other way around as is usually assumed.
You cannot be made to divulge information or do anything against your will while in hypnosis.
Hypnosis is not Satanic or religion-oriented at all, just a way to direct your inner mind toward the positive.
What about Hypnosis for Childbirth?
Hypnosis is used in medical and dental procedures with great success by patients who have life-threatening allergies to anesthetics, allowing them to undergo surgeries with no drugs and no pain. We know therefore that the mind can be trained to experience discomfort as only pressure, and that is what is achieved in childbirth hypnosis as well. In addition, with labor, the more relaxation the mother experiences, the more comfort she will have, and the depth of relaxation necessary can easily be achieved with hypnosis, as physical relaxation is learned and practiced daily in preparation for birth using guided visualizations followed by positive hypnotic suggestions. When the critical conscious mind is by-passed with hypnosis, the inner mind can literally be reprogrammed to believe that birth will be comfortable, easy and joyous. Software for your mind!
Fear and Expectation
In other cultures, childbirth is regarded as a natural, normal event in a woman's life. The birthing women are given support from other women, and children are often present to witness the event. In this way, birth is celebrated and honored. Young girls then grow up with the belief system that birth is a positive event and their expectations of childbirth reflect this attitude. As a result, their births are similar to their predecessors; without pain and fear. They have a positive expectation of childbirth. In our culture, it is very much the opposite. For many generations we have been told that delivering a baby is many hours of painfully agonizing work, to be faced with fear and trepidation. We have heard stories from well-meaning friends and family that send shivers up our spines, and so the legacy continues. We experience pain in childbirth, in part because we very much expect to!
When learning about how the mind controls the body, the expectant couple is taught to surround themselves with only positive people and messages, to create a positive view of childbirth and the expectation that their birth will be the beautiful, peaceful experience that they want. Fear Clearing Sessions are integral to this process, as they allow each person to address fears they have, work through possible solutions and then release them. Fear in labor can create tension, which creates pain, then more fear, and the cycle continues. Fear and anxiety can also create adrenaline production in the body, causing the labor to become dysfunctional, a common reason for Cesarean Section surgery. Freedom from fear can make a huge difference in the birthing experience.
Hypnosis for childbirth teaches a woman how to enter into self-hypnosis instantly, and create her own natural anesthesia whenever and wherever she needs it. She has total control over her body, and is an active participant in her birth process. As labor progresses, she relaxes even more, goes deeper inside herself, trusting in her body's natural ability to give birth with ease and comfort. Her mind is programmed to give her exactly what she needs.
Too good to be true?
Can women give birth without experiencing pain? They can, but there are many variables in labor and birth that can affect the outcome, and couples need to have a positive but realistic view of hypnosis for childbirth. Each pregnant woman and her partner must take responsibility for the choices they make while in labor and how they can affect the dynamics and outcome. Many a wonderful birth has been thwarted by not realizing how to make positive, informed choices, yet these issues are easily addressed and learned in a good consumer oriented childbirth class such as Hypnobabies, or by doing research.
Without a doubt, women using hypnosis are much calmer and more relaxed during labor, which automatically creates more comfort, as well as having *powerful* post-hypnotic suggestions to actually eliminate pain and fear. How effective is this? Statistics will vary by the program and method chosen, depending on the length and number of hypnosis sessions, the materials used in each, and the skill of the hypnotherapist or teacher, as well as the dedication and compliance to the program of each birthing couple. Ideally, hypnosis for childbirth instructors will have backgrounds in both hypnotherapy and childbirth education, and be able to address each woman's personal needs. With adequate preparation and trust in the natural process of birth, most women can have much more relaxed and comfortable births, with many actually free of pain. It is important to know that the childbirth hypnosis program you choose to use will directly affect your success in having a comfortable birth, so educate yourself before choosing.
Benefits of using hypnosis for childbirth:
Fewer drugs or no drugs at all means less risk of side effects on mother and baby.
Shorter labors - resistance of the birthing muscles as a response to pain is minimized or eliminated.
An awake, energized mother, due to total relaxation throughout the birthing process.
A calm, peaceful birthing environment.
Breech and posterior babies can be turned using hypnosis.
Fewer interventions and complications during labor.
Babies who are better sleepers and nursers due to fewer drugs in their systems.
Visualizations & Affirmations
Russian water pioneer Igor Charkovsky suggests this daily meditation: Picture the baby developing inside your body bathed in a golden, protective, celestial light. During labor, visualize your body opening easily and smoothly, like the petals of a flower.
For those of you who remember, I was putting together a list of positive affirmations for labor to put on a poster (and/or handout) to show in my classes. Below is my completed work....thanks to Nancy, Debbie and Elena for their contributions, some have been combined with others and some edited to suit my purposes.
I hope it is something that may inspire you and/or your classes as well.
My body was made to do this, so I can
Each contraction brings my baby one step closer to being in my arms
I am drawing energy from all the women before me to birth my baby
Childbirth is a normal, healthy event
My baby and I are working harmoniously together
My baby and I are grateful for this powerful experience
I am able to make the best possible choices for a healthy, joyful birth
My labor pain is only a small portion of my life, I can do this for my beautiful baby
The power of birth will strengthen me, my baby and my partner
I trust my body to labor smoothly and efficient
Pleasure is opening up to my baby
I CAN DO IT
by Patricia Blomme
Today is the day I have been waiting so patiently for. Within me I can feel the stirrings I have wondered about since the first realization of what was to come. They come from deep within me. I feel joy! Today my body will fulfill the purpose for which it has been made. Today I will show my strength, my courage, my love for my child. I can feel the strength in my body, a wonderful strength that is meant for just this purpose.
I can feel my body opening up. Opening up like the petals of a spring tulip on a cool morning. My body is beginning a labor of love. I accept all that comes to pass with the birth of my child. I know that it will require much from me, much that through love I am willing to give.
My body is strong. My body has hundreds of thousands of years of history in it that will allow me to birth my child with joy and ease. I will not feel pain.
I will feel the widening of my child's birth passage. I will surrender to the opening of my body. My body knows what to do, I must let it be. I will not let my mind interfere. My mind stays steadily focused on the wonderful expression of love that I am feeling as I birth my child. My long awaited child I will give my body all the time it needs to work. I will not track time other than to gaze at the sun or the stars.
I know I must give in to the emotions of birth. I must remain open. As the waves come I will triumph over them, one by one, all the while surrendering to them. I am surrounded by love and trust, and that is what protects me. Today my body is opening and releasing my child to me. Today is the day that I will cherish forever.
Woman:
I am a strong and capable woman.
I am creating a totally positive and new birth experience.
My pelvis is releasing and opening (as have those of countless women before me).
I am accepting my labor and believe that it is the right labor for me, and for my baby.
I now feel the love that others have for me during the birth.
I am treating my mate lovingly during the birth.
I have a "success consciousness."
I have a beautiful body. My body is my friend.
I now see my last birth as a learning experience, from which I am growing and changing.
I embrace the concept of healthy pain.
I am welcoming my contractions.
I have enough love to go around.
There is always enough love for me.
I am strong, confident, assured, and assertive and still feminine
I am helping my baby feel safe so that she can be born.
Man:
I am taking care of myself during this pregnancy.
I see my wife as a strong and capable woman, and this does not threaten me.
I am supporting her during her labor, even when she is in pain.
I am expressing my love to my wife easily and frequently.
I am accepting the labor that is meant for us.
I am accepting feelings of helplessness.
I am sensitive, tender, open, and trusting.
I am feeling the love that others have for me when I need support.
Source : http://www.gentlebirth.org/archives/hypnosis.html
For those of you who remember, I was putting together a list of positive affirmations for labor to put on a poster (and/or handout) to show in my classes. Below is my completed work....thanks to Nancy, Debbie and Elena for their contributions, some have been combined with others and some edited to suit my purposes.
I hope it is something that may inspire you and/or your classes as well.
My body was made to do this, so I can
Each contraction brings my baby one step closer to being in my arms
I am drawing energy from all the women before me to birth my baby
Childbirth is a normal, healthy event
My baby and I are working harmoniously together
My baby and I are grateful for this powerful experience
I am able to make the best possible choices for a healthy, joyful birth
My labor pain is only a small portion of my life, I can do this for my beautiful baby
The power of birth will strengthen me, my baby and my partner
I trust my body to labor smoothly and efficient
Pleasure is opening up to my baby
I CAN DO IT
by Patricia Blomme
Today is the day I have been waiting so patiently for. Within me I can feel the stirrings I have wondered about since the first realization of what was to come. They come from deep within me. I feel joy! Today my body will fulfill the purpose for which it has been made. Today I will show my strength, my courage, my love for my child. I can feel the strength in my body, a wonderful strength that is meant for just this purpose.
I can feel my body opening up. Opening up like the petals of a spring tulip on a cool morning. My body is beginning a labor of love. I accept all that comes to pass with the birth of my child. I know that it will require much from me, much that through love I am willing to give.
My body is strong. My body has hundreds of thousands of years of history in it that will allow me to birth my child with joy and ease. I will not feel pain.
I will feel the widening of my child's birth passage. I will surrender to the opening of my body. My body knows what to do, I must let it be. I will not let my mind interfere. My mind stays steadily focused on the wonderful expression of love that I am feeling as I birth my child. My long awaited child I will give my body all the time it needs to work. I will not track time other than to gaze at the sun or the stars.
I know I must give in to the emotions of birth. I must remain open. As the waves come I will triumph over them, one by one, all the while surrendering to them. I am surrounded by love and trust, and that is what protects me. Today my body is opening and releasing my child to me. Today is the day that I will cherish forever.
Woman:
I am a strong and capable woman.
I am creating a totally positive and new birth experience.
My pelvis is releasing and opening (as have those of countless women before me).
I am accepting my labor and believe that it is the right labor for me, and for my baby.
I now feel the love that others have for me during the birth.
I am treating my mate lovingly during the birth.
I have a "success consciousness."
I have a beautiful body. My body is my friend.
I now see my last birth as a learning experience, from which I am growing and changing.
I embrace the concept of healthy pain.
I am welcoming my contractions.
I have enough love to go around.
There is always enough love for me.
I am strong, confident, assured, and assertive and still feminine
I am helping my baby feel safe so that she can be born.
Man:
I am taking care of myself during this pregnancy.
I see my wife as a strong and capable woman, and this does not threaten me.
I am supporting her during her labor, even when she is in pain.
I am expressing my love to my wife easily and frequently.
I am accepting the labor that is meant for us.
I am accepting feelings of helplessness.
I am sensitive, tender, open, and trusting.
I am feeling the love that others have for me when I need support.
Source : http://www.gentlebirth.org/archives/hypnosis.html
Aromatherapy for Childbirth
Lavender essential oil is the traditional midwife's scent because it clears, uplifts and relaxes. It is very nice- just don't use too much- it has given me a HA when I've used too much. Check out a good aromatherapy book- one popular one even comes with small vials of many oils to try, along with a nice historical and emotive review. I really like orange oil, as it is very refreshing, without being too sweet- many of the scents are nice for moms, but if used alone without a balancing earth scent (like sandalwood, patchouli, bay, etc.) the dads might not enjoy them, as they can be really strong and powerful. From my resources; a recipe for stress relieving bath- geranium, lavender, sandalwood, cardamom, patchouli, and rose (all as essential oils)
Some recipes:
A stimulating bath (maybe for a slowed labor?)- rosemary, clove, lemon, neroli, palma rosa, geranium.
A balancing bath- lavender, sandalwood, ylang ylang
A relaxing bath- chamomile, mellissa, sandalwood, lavender, geranium, rose. (all from the Complete book of essential oils & aromatherapy by Valerie Ann Worwood.)
(the following are used intentionally with a thanks to the sources- nice before rituals- these are powerfully evoking baths!- I think they would be wonderful for a labor bath!!)
A moon mystery bath magic- (to allow one to be blinded by the light of the moon; aligns one to the pull of her tides both within and without- What is birth if not Her ultimate tide of fruition?)- myrrh, jasmine, sandalwood, lily (Very Nice)
Magical Serenity- (for harmony)-sandalwood, lavender, gardenia, chamomile.
Magical Purity(allows the pure self to unfold- dispels anxiety and egoism)-bay, clove, pine, sandalwood.
A magical power bath- (strengthens focus and will, invokes unbounded courage)- patchouli, mint, orange blossom, cinnamon, frankincense.
Magical Renewal- (re-ignites life-force and well-being, for balance and refreshment)-frankincense, bay, honeysuckle, lotus, carnation.
Magical Love bath- (inspires reverence, expansive & fiery, celebrates and rekindles love)- magnolia, amber, patchouli, mint, bergamot.
Lavender-relaxes both the nervous system and muscular system, encouraging a peaceful disposition.
Sandalwood- relaxing, an aphrodisiac
Orange- cheerful, uplifting, refreshing.
Geranium- sedative, treats nervousness.
Clove- a powerful antiseptic, an age old remedy for toothaches, and baby teething pain, sharp and friendly.
Bergamot- used to treat depression, a mental stimulant
chamomile- calming, refreshing, treats stress, irritability, depression, migraines, and digestive problems.
Blue German chamomile- for skin disorders and discomforts, anti-inflammatory, balancing to the female reproductive system!
Roman chamomile- for insomnia, nervous conditions, also balancing to women’s systems.
(All of the above are from little pamphlets and cards I've gathered over time...) Always use by the drop- not glug, patch testing is recommended(on the skin to make sure she doesn't have a sensitive skin-reaction to it)
Source : http://www.gentlebirth.org/archives/aromas.html
Some recipes:
A stimulating bath (maybe for a slowed labor?)- rosemary, clove, lemon, neroli, palma rosa, geranium.
A balancing bath- lavender, sandalwood, ylang ylang
A relaxing bath- chamomile, mellissa, sandalwood, lavender, geranium, rose. (all from the Complete book of essential oils & aromatherapy by Valerie Ann Worwood.)
(the following are used intentionally with a thanks to the sources- nice before rituals- these are powerfully evoking baths!- I think they would be wonderful for a labor bath!!)
A moon mystery bath magic- (to allow one to be blinded by the light of the moon; aligns one to the pull of her tides both within and without- What is birth if not Her ultimate tide of fruition?)- myrrh, jasmine, sandalwood, lily (Very Nice)
Magical Serenity- (for harmony)-sandalwood, lavender, gardenia, chamomile.
Magical Purity(allows the pure self to unfold- dispels anxiety and egoism)-bay, clove, pine, sandalwood.
A magical power bath- (strengthens focus and will, invokes unbounded courage)- patchouli, mint, orange blossom, cinnamon, frankincense.
Magical Renewal- (re-ignites life-force and well-being, for balance and refreshment)-frankincense, bay, honeysuckle, lotus, carnation.
Magical Love bath- (inspires reverence, expansive & fiery, celebrates and rekindles love)- magnolia, amber, patchouli, mint, bergamot.
Lavender-relaxes both the nervous system and muscular system, encouraging a peaceful disposition.
Sandalwood- relaxing, an aphrodisiac
Orange- cheerful, uplifting, refreshing.
Geranium- sedative, treats nervousness.
Clove- a powerful antiseptic, an age old remedy for toothaches, and baby teething pain, sharp and friendly.
Bergamot- used to treat depression, a mental stimulant
chamomile- calming, refreshing, treats stress, irritability, depression, migraines, and digestive problems.
Blue German chamomile- for skin disorders and discomforts, anti-inflammatory, balancing to the female reproductive system!
Roman chamomile- for insomnia, nervous conditions, also balancing to women’s systems.
(All of the above are from little pamphlets and cards I've gathered over time...) Always use by the drop- not glug, patch testing is recommended(on the skin to make sure she doesn't have a sensitive skin-reaction to it)
Source : http://www.gentlebirth.org/archives/aromas.html
What Does Labor Feel Like?
What Does Labor Feel Like?
"I could never accurately describe the power of those contractions, except to say, it's the same type of power that brings the sun up in the morning." A labouring mother
When I was in labor with my 3rd, I did try to be loving to everyone. I told everyone (I loved) that I loved them - and really felt it. I worked hard to be sweet and tender and grateful for all the support I was getting, I thanked everyone for their participation, and for coming to my birth. I smiled as often as I could. I tried to make the birth the best birth anyone had ever attended! I wanted to be brave and sweet and amaze everyone with my tenderness and togetherness. That was my goal. It HELPED SO MUCH! I really did feel so soft and joyful. In trying to portray it, I became it. Looking back at the pictures it really does look, even late in labor, as if I was having the best time! Not that it didn't hurt - but mindset was EVERYTHING. It felt so purposeful.
With #4 I didn't really prepare at all. I knew it was going to hurt, and just put that out of my mind. By then I had lots of confidence and knew that it would be one day out of my life. I knew I could handle it because I knew I could do anything for 2-3 minutes at a time. That labor was much easier, too. I spent most of it alone, while the house slept. That was really pretty cool!
I agree with those who recommend surrendering to labor and birth. Fighting it gets you no where, you can't fight it and win, so just yield to it. Give in to it. I also recommend you keep things as low key for as long as possible. Don't get all worked up 'cause you think you might be in labor. Go about your business, get some rest, relax, take a nap, eat, whatever... labor will come GET YOU when it is ready for your attention. Don't give it to much of your energy until it demands it.
About Labor as Work rather than Pain
Even though there can be pain, I try not to use that word. I use the word "work." Does it hurt to work-out with weights or chop wood? Yes, but we are not afraid or overwhelmed by those tasks because though they are hard, the toil is manageable, and so rewarding. Someone on the list last fall described labor as being more like a football game than a marathon. I agree. For me it was not constant exertion, but rather minutes of hard, deep work followed by rests. And it was invigorating like football on a crisp fall day. And I had a team to help me.
I've been doing homebirth midwifery since 1977. i think it's GREAT that we now have CNM's in hospitals, birth centers and at home and that the midwifery model of care is gaining credibility in theory and practice...
BUT- while i do agree with the position that yes, midwives in hospitals are helping women and THAT is the most important thing, I also believe we need to not lose sight of the fact that some of what the Mehls said about medicalization is absolutely TRUE... I see that in our American culture in general we medicate more and more and more of our life experiences- there is a drug for everything. To me, this is the important thread.
I offer non medicated homebirth because this is what i believe in and i can honestly practice this with integrity. We each have our niche. I respect all of you who work in the hospital- I don't think I could hack it.
Here's a story. First birth - Woman was GBS+ in 1st pregnancy, had a hospital birth with CNM, IV antibiotics, epidural (with 4+ hours of pushing a 9# 8 oz. baby) good kid, no problems.
This time they planned a homebirth. She labored at home 9 hours, 10 minutes pushing a 9# 4 oz. kid, no problems, no pain meds...
OK, now 3 days pp we are talking about the birth, the differences between home and hospital, how great she feels now compared to first time, how she felt everything, felt the kid move down with every push, and yeah how it hurt, but how she was GLAD there was no pain medication available because if there was she might have chosen it, to relieve the intensity of the feelings, and yet how happy she is to have been able to feel everything and how it's good there were no pain medications available because she might have said yes and missed out on the exquisite sensations of birthing her child...
Well, anyhow, i'm sure many of you have had similar conversations with women, but my point here is that we absolutely NEED to have that non medicated option available... IF she was in the hospital where meds were available and offered, she could have chosen them and not had the experience she had... How many women use pain meds in labor just because "it's there"?
I really don't think it's an either/or situation as far as value judgements, morality etc. I think we just need to each work with the system we know we can support, heart and soul. But i do believe we need to be on guard against getting lulled into the notion that pain meds are "ok", no big deal...
WE ARE engaged in changing the culture... and one of the big changes i think we need to work together on as midwives, regardless of our place of practice, is that birth doesn't have to be a horrendous painful scary event. So much of pain has to do with perception, and as many of you have already articulated, emotional support makes a difference. I think as midwives our work is to help to alleviate that idea that birth is awful and painful.
My pet peeve is fear and i think we all need to work to allay the heavy layers of fear that permeate birth in our culture. However we do that, whatever works, is our individual path. Some at home without any meds, some in the hospital with meds on occasion and are bridges...
i've chosen to stay working only at home because THIS option also needs to continue to be available: Birth as a normal life process, at the center of a woman's life- in her home, not as a medical event... No doctors, no drugs, no intervention...
No Fear - Birth Happens
Difference Between Laboring in the Hospital and Laboring at Home
There is a lot of difference between a 60 hour labor at home and a 60 hour labor in the hospital. My longest labor was 24 hours in the hospital that ended with a C-section. It truly was hell on earth. My husband and I were scared, left alone, not informed, and just basically treated badly with a lot of disrespect. My husband runs his own business, if he treated his clientele the same way the hospital personnel treated us he would be OUT of business.
My second labor was mainly at home with a planned hospital delivery. I labored with my husband and doula for 6 hours. But I have to say that we had a good time - we ate, drank, laughed, I took a bath. In fact, when we finally got into the van to go to the hospital (which was 60 minutes away) I was ready to push!! We did make it to the hospital and I had several more hours of pushing, but it was an exciting ride.
My third labor and birth were entirely at home. I awoke at 3:00 a.m. in labor. Went down to watch a movie and time contractions just to make sure this was the real thing. After the movie I went back to bed to save up my rest, and found my 2 year old in bed and husband in my other son's bedroom. So I cuddled my toddler and dozed off while timing contractions.
By 8:00 a.m. I was sure this was really labor. I called friends in between contractions to ask for their prayers, I folded towels. I made sure all the food was out of the freezer for the midwife, doula, babysitter and family. When my birth team finally arrived I visited with them for a while too. Sure it was a lot of work, but the time passed very quickly because the atmosphere and the people were so pleasant!!
I delivered a 10 lb 12 oz boy, at 5:15 p.m., which was no picnic, but when it was over it was over. The next day I was sitting at the computer (although I had ice on my sore bottom! - try doing that after a abdominal surgery!!)
So I guess I'm saying that a long labor doesn't have to be horrible, terrible, teeth gritting torment. It can actually be rather pleasant, enjoyable ,memorable and kind of fun!! I think a lot depends on where you are, and who you have around you.
My homebirth was *almost* painless. I had to concentrate on the contractions, which were very intense toward the end, but I never felt what I would describe as pain during labor. I was in pain as his head crowned, though. But that didn't last very long. In her notes, my midwife wrote that I "sailed through the first stage (of labor) with very little reaction to the pain." So, I haven't forgotten what actually happened.
I have often wondered about whether every woman can have a painless or almost painless birth, too. I attribute my good experience to being completely relaxed. I had no mental or physical barriers while I was in labor. I completely trusted my body and my midwife and my baby.
My two births were very different from each other but not too bad, pain-wise. My first one was 30+ hours so I was tired, and the second one was 3.5 hours, and very intense. Both were at home, and both were "do-able" - I never felt panicky or out of control.
My dh is a Hypnotherapist, a Time Line Therapist and an NLP Master Practitioner. All of these things are going to help me tremendously with my birth. However, I feel I would still have a painless birth without these things because I *believe* I will have a painless birth. If you can convince your subconscious that there is no reason to feel the pain of birth, you wont. I think a lot of it is fear. That's another reason why I think so many homebirthers don't have painful births. They already have total trust in their bodies and their support system. There is very little fear there, if at all. They wouldn't be having a homebirth otherwise.
I also like to think of marathon runners or sprinters when I think about pain tolerance. These athletes do not realize they were feeling pain until they have finished the race. They were 100% focused on their goal to even recognize anything else. It's all in the head and what you believe.
With my second birth, I attribute its quickness to my total focus on relaxation, particularly relaxation of my thighs and anything (and everything) pelvic.
The most vital thing, however, was my acceptance of and happiness about the REALLY STRONG contractions. I knew that the stronger they were, the better they were working, and the closer I was to the birth. Going to births while I was pregnant and looking at things from the midwives' perspective gave me this insight. Midwives see those amazing contractions that women can barely handle as the sign of a really effective labor! So I decided to welcome them, encourage them, and enjoy them, rather than fearing them or resisting them.
I was sitting on the couch when I felt a lot of pressure. Thinking my water might break, I knelt on the floor next to the couch. My water DID break but imagine my surprise when I put my fingers into my birth canal, and felt the baby's head right there! I could have sworn I was only 6-8 cm! I ended up catching Paxton myself since we had called the midwife too late, and dh, though he was with me, was in shock.
I believe we can talk ourselves into anything. The brain is an amazing thing. Think about people with multiple personalities. One personality has blue eyes and the other one has brown. One personality can have cancer and the other there is no trace of it. It all has to do with limiting beliefs. Hypnotherapy helps get rid of those limiting beliefs.
I think when labor is not progressing naturally, our bodies will respond with pain. When a baby is laying the wrong way (posterior), our bodies will send up signals saying "hey, something is wrong here". That's why back labor is so painful because it's not going the "right" way. My first was posterior as I stated above and had many many symptoms of it before I went into labor. No one told me how to fix it. Now I know better and will do everything in my power the last few weeks to keep this baby from turning posterior. I know what to do now.
I completely trust the self-hypnosis theory for reducing labor pain. For me, the biggest help I got from hypnobirthing was learning how to "breathe the baby down" which I had basically practiced from 6 months pregnant on. It then came completely naturally to me as the day progressed.
To be honest, it felt really really good to vocalize and dance that last half hour so maybe that really was just the way things were meant to be for me. It also helped dh to see that I really was working hard.
LOL, that happens a lot! The midwives are expecting "those sounds" and they just don't hear them from our hypnobirthing moms. That's why the baby Story missed my students birth: the midwife didn't think the mom was far along in labor at all because she was so quiet on the phone. i'm so glad your experience was a positive one!
Personally, I don't think having a painless labor is exactly the point. I believe that childbirth is a rite of passage and one of spiritual growth, if we are open to it. In being open to it, I think it is possible to experience a painless labor, or a very hard one, depending on what the woman would most benefit from overall. I've given birth twice, and they were both the most intense spiritual experiences of my life. I practice and teach kundalini yoga, and doubtlessly it prepared my mind and body to deal with the process. I seemed to have some unique phenomena, especially this last time, when things started getting intense deep native american chanting started coming through me. It really helped with the pain, and precisely reflected what my body was going through. I also believe it helped the baby. I did feel pain, but every time it was immediately balance with pleasure equal or greater. I can't say that I would prefer it any other way.
Birth Without Drugs is Very Possible
Your comments about pain medication make me want to point out that ALL of the births that I have ever done, and all of the births of all of the midwives on this list, and across the country, that were done at home and usually in birth centers, were done without pain meds. It is very possible.
I never have moms begging to go to the hospital for pain medication (except possibly in transition, for a contraction or 2). I don't think these women are wired any differently than anyone else. They just don't want pain medication to mess up their births, get into their babies' bodies, and they don't want their senses dulled for the most glorious experience of their lives. These women still experience pain, but are well motivated. I don't think we have any magic breathing techniques either. We just stay with the moms, breathe with them, make them feel like they are not alone. We actually discourage the hee-hee hoo breathing and the focal point. Most midwives find that Lamaze breathing is not very helpful. I helped at a primip birth this week, and she was in exquisite pain for most of the day. it never occurred to us or her that she would get pain medication. Baby was born with his arm wrapped around his neck, and his elbow had been in her back, along her spine and rectum for hours. She delivered over an intact perineum. You just need to see some non-medicated births and don't buy into the theory that some women have lower thresholds, etc. From your descriptions, you are dealing with a very medical mode of "delivering" babies. Birth is safe. Birth is painful. Women have been doing it unmedicated all the way back to Eve. You need to see the look in a first time mom's eyes, when she gives birth at home after 30 hours. You need to see the look in a VBAC's eyes, when she pushes her baby into the world. (VBACs especially want to feel that experience.)
Read some good alternative books on child birth -- books with birth stories are particularly helpful. The other thing you can do to convince yourself, is to watch what happens to the moms and the babies when they are on their backs, full of drugs.
So... how about it....anyone out there love to labor and give birth ?
yeah, i did. it's not that i loved the pain, but the emotions that come with it. i believe a big part of how we feel about our births is dependent on our education about the process. birth made me feel empowered, like... from there i could do anything and i know a lot of women who have birthed unmedicated and didn't come away from it with the same positive feelings that i did, and then i'd hint around about how much education they obtained about birth and it was next to nothing. i'm not saying uneducated women are numb about birth, but it seems those who take the time to learn more are more involved and understanding and less fearful and willing to take responsibility. this goes for the partners, too.
i loved knowing that i was doing the best things for my baby, knowing it had everything going for her. Aside from all the physical benefits that come from birthing unmedicated, emotionally it's the most satisfying experience in the world. there's increased appreciation for your baby, your body, respect for yourself, and even appreciation and respect for your mate.
women are strong and grow so abundantly afterwards from making wise choices in birth. for me, my self esteem and confidence increased ten fold from my whole pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum experience because i played an active, knowledgeable role. childbirth is not about pain, it's about growth and strength in all regards.
One of the founders of obstetrics writes that women who have been properly prepared through out the prenatal period will have 'practically painless' labor without any need for therapeutics (drug or herbal remedies).
Well, the author may be dust in his grave, but I think his words still stand true! Nine tenths of the birthing process is affected by that "preparation" period. A healthy mom with the right attitude will generally sail through labor. Complications are rare and usually easily handled.
A mom who is filled with fear and terror, is almost sure to have (or to perceive herself having) a "complicated", and painful labor.
I do think the PAIN of labor is becoming the major focus of the current generation. Most folks in the general culture I talk to are absolutely convinced that labor is the most painful experience on earth, and there is no possibility of a labor being anything less than horrific. Many of them "know" that childbirth preparation classes do not work. They know "lamaze" and other methods are useless. They "know" women will need to have drugs to handle labor.
We have a culture which forgets even the most recent past. In the 70s, during the height of the "natural childbirth movement", nearly 70% of women in hospitals in this region gave birth without drugs and reported it a "great experience"!
Women's bodies have not changed. If anything we are stronger and healthier than our predecessors. I think the PAIN of childbirth is partly media fed; partly fed by our own profession insisting on childbirth classes, labor support, doulas etc.; and certainly fed by the fear of those who never experienced childbirth! Women who have never given birth are generally certain it is a painful experience. But women who have given birth under anesthesia are absolutely convinced it is extremely painful. In fact, the better the anesthetic, the more certain they become about the pain they did not feel.
NO BODY fears the pain of childbirth more than the person who has never experienced it!
In my own family, my grandmother gave birth without drugs. She thought having babies was not terribly distressing, though it was UNLADYLIKE! But not especially painful. My mother had general anesthetic and KNEW the pain of childbirth probably could not be survived if a woman was conscious (yeah, there is a failure of logic there). I gave birth without drugs and found moments were uncomfortable, but it wasn't such a big deal.
The women of the fifties -- those under general anesthetics and spinal anesthetics - feared childbirth the most. Yet they never felt a thing!
Just think about this? the hospital ladies have NOTHING to do but concentrate on the pain, whereas the home ladies have homelife, dishes, laundry meals that have to get done and they do them. Here I have a birth center/home it is hard to distract them, I have movies, they can go shopping or clean. A primip got down on her knees and scrubbed the kitchen floor , it sure got her labor to increase but they feel needed and productive, when you are just sitting around contracting, they feel very unproductive so I try to give them things to do like cleaning the refrigerator - I hate that job and they have to bend over a lot to do it.
Why Women Are So Afraid Labor will be Painful
Remember, these women have listened to horror stories their whole lives of labors which were forced on women and conditions which most of these fine doctors who did it would never put their own cat through.
my stepmom's family got an earful from me a couple weeks ago about this and they are now changing their tune to her. My god, isn't it still a social faux pas to talk about how god awful labor is? it damned well ought to be.
I am just so steamed at these women who go blathering about how awful labor is, NEVER MENTIONING how when they walked it was manageable, or the shower and pool were miracle workers, etc.
yea, when I was laying down on my back I was screaming for an epidural too.
I slept in the jacuzzi.
Labor Pain as Good Pain
Labor Is Good for Your Baby
Midwives Support Unmedicated Birth Because It's Better for the Baby
This is just a little something I share with my childbirth education clients about pain. It seems that everyone is bombarded with messages about pain constantly. Through the TV, things we read, just talking to people. The gist is that pain is bad and ought to be eliminated. However, there are two sides to the issue of pain. Let's imagine two people who have a lot of pain. One has just completed a marathon and her body is aching all over from the exertion and from pushing her body beyond it's normal limits. The other has just been hit by a car and has broken bones and deep tissue bruising as well as cuts and abrasions. Both are hurting quite a bit. But their experience of pain is different. The difference is the nature of the origin of the pain. In the first case, it is physiological, coming from the body doing something normal, but strenuous over of a long period of time. The other is traumatic, that is, it is caused by an injury to the body. In the first case, the body has natural responses to the pain and helps the body to recover and actually heals the body in a state better than it was before the exertion. The next time it won't be so bad, as the body is getting better conditioned. In the second case, the injury causes the pain to be more intense. The body is alerting the brain to the fact that something is terribly wrong. Healing is slow and painful, and pain relievers are a great bonus to the sufferer.
Now in relation to childbirth, we have to remember that the pain is derived from the body doing a normal activity but over a long period of time. It is like the marathon in that the muscles are used over and over again. The activity is stressful in the repetition. It is basically hard work over a long period of time. But it is work the body is uniquely designed to carry out. The pain is not pathological or traumatic, so the body can handle it on its own. Normal comfort measures and rest periods work very well. Relaxation to conserve energy is also very helpful.
I have had 7 natural births and 2 major surgeries. I can tell you from first hand experience that the nature of the pain in both cases is different. In birthing, there are things you can do to make it better. In pain caused by an injury to the body, not much you do helps for long. I was very grateful for Demerol after surgery!
Birth hurts for most of us because of the amount of work it takes to get our babies out. Sometimes it is worse than others. But if there is nothing else going on, the body can usually handle it just fine. Women don't die from the pain, though sometimes they may wish they could! I believe that pain in childbirth that cannot be helped by natural comfort measures should be looked into. There is almost always a good reason for it that can be dealt with.
Another thing I tell women is to focus on the exact nature of the pain they are experiencing. Where exactly does it hurt. What kind of pain is it, burning, or stretching or a dull ache. You know, be descriptive, so your helpers can do things to help. It is not enough to just say it hurts, you have to be specific. It helps to get completely in tune with your body both before labor and during. Shut out distractions so you can focus completely on what your body is doing.
I'd like to hear what you all teach your students/clients about 1) dealing with nay-sayers who don't believe natural birth is possible or "worth it"; 2) dealing with the disappointment after if they don't have the natural birth they want.
So how do you teach your women? What do you say to them? There seems to be such a fine line between saying "I know you can do it, generations of women before you did it, and you are just as strong as they are!" and then, if they don't do it, still encouraging them that they did "their best" (Which to me sounds almost like an insult - was that really my best? Could I really do no better than that?)
When I first began teaching Childbirth classes, I grappled with the issue of pain for the same reasons you mentioned. Pain during labor is NOT a sensation that is easily described and felt the same by every woman. For that reason, I created a handout called "Pain In Childbirth" that describes the various ways that women may experience pain during labor.
I have gotten good feedback from this handout. It helps women realize that there are different reasons/sources of pain, and that some things can be physically managed, and some CAN'T. In either event, preparing themselves both physically and emotionally can only help them when the real thing occurs.
I am a firm believer that knowledge is power, and I want the women that I have the privilege of teaching to gain as much knowledge as possible so that they can feel powerful. Does this mean they won't take pain medication? No...not necessarily. But it DOES mean that they will know other alternatives BESIDES drugs.
Teaching natural childbirth in this era of high-technology is difficult at best. Our culture does not encourage women to trust their bodies. We grew up in an age where women go to the hospital to give birth, creating an indelible impression that we cannot give birth without the assistance of doctors and machinery. Today's modern woman is horrified with the concept of homebirth, befuddled by the idea of using a midwife instead of a doctor and doesn't understand the concept of natural childbirth because THEY NEVER SEE IT ON TV OR IN THE MOVIES OR HEAR ABOUT IT FROM FAMILY MEMBERS OR FRIENDS WHO HAVE GIVEN BIRTH. Since the norm is medicated birth, a natural birth seems odd.
This is disheartening as a childbirth educator, but I try not to take it to heart. I feel that their first experience is not necessarily their LAST experience, and maybe the seeds will be planted well enough in their classes for them to try something different with the next birth. Maybe they will have more confidence in themselves because they've gone through it once. Maybe they will have learned that their girlfriend, sister, sister-in-law, cousin, neighbor, etc. DIDN'T know everything about labor and birth, and they will feel comfortable enough to try and do it their own way instead.
Importance of Kisses in Labor
Mary Finocchario, in her birth account which I printed in HAPPY BIRTH DAYS (a collection of 50 do-it-yourself homebirth accounts that I came out with in l986) she said, "We felt the Lord urging us to just love each other. Lou gave me one of his long Italian kisses. Within seconds that baby door flew open and with one huge contraction, that nearly sent me through the floor, the baby descended all the way down the birth canal and his head was ready to emerge.
I jumped up on the bed and leaned back on several pillows. With one push and several pants, the head was out. Lou supported the head and applied perineal support to ease the shoulders out on the second push. The baby cried softly at first as Lou suctioned out any mucous and I rubbed the baby's back. Then Lou placed him on my stomach and he gave several lusty cries.
Since then I discovered that saliva contains some marvelous properties that are, I suspect, useful in the experience of birth. According to J.J. Cowley, of the Department of Psychology, University College, London, some l6-androstene steroids "were discovered 20 years ago to act as male>female sex releaser pheromones in the pig..., and over the years several studies have provided evidence for pheromonal effects of one or both of these steroids in man..., although others have failed to find an effect.
In spite of their established action in rousing oestrous sows to be sexually receptive, and in spite of their MUCH GREATER CONCENTRATION IN HUMAN MALE THAN IN FEMALE...SALIVA...[emphasis mine], we lack any firm knowledge, at least in humans, about [their effects]. The mere fact that they do act as pheromones in man has, however, far-reaching implications for social behaviour.
"Human exposure to putative pheromones and changes in aspects of social behavior," JOURNAL OF STEROID BIOCHEM. MOLEC. BIOLOGY, Vol 39, No. 4B, pp. 647-659)
I'm of the opinion that the deep warm kisses that Lou gave to Mary contained a substance which facilitated the birth of their baby so that the process was neither prolonged nor overly stressful for Mary's vaginal tissues to accommodate. And furthermore, long Irish kisses and German kisses or any others are just as effective as Italian ones!
I just mention the above about kissing in case others have not learned about it. I do cover it in my new book, which is finally available. The title is PLEASURABLE HUSBAND/WIFE CHILDBIRTH: The real consummation of married love.
I also speak of the benefit of relaxin. That is a hormone which has been found to be present in human seminal plasma. This hormone softens the cervix and lengthens pelvic ligaments. So, the couple who has coitus during the early phase of labor has a much more gentle and comfortable birth experience than those who do not have the benefit of this God-designed "treatment".
I was talking with a Chicago doctor a couple of weeks ago who had been associated with LLL for many years. He said that marvelous discoveries have been made in the last 30 years about the unique and valuable properties of breastmilk. He then predicted that in the next 30 there will be just as astounding ones discovered about currently unrealized properties of seminal plasma and fluid.
I'm reminded of the rigmarole we women used to have to go through during the l950s in order to cleanse our nipples before being allowed to breast feed our babies in the hospital. In order to prepare infant formula, those working in the nurseries had to go through very precise procedures of sterilization to protect the health of the babies. And breastfeeding moms were subjected to a similar approach. There is a book by Charlotte Painter called WHO MADE THE LAMB which described it. It was rather funny. Get it if your library has it. You'll get a kick out of it.
Epidurals Numb Joy as Well as Pain
Just last night I was reading an article about epidurals which stated "At the time of birth, a woman's level of endorphins, the body's natural pain killers, are found to be 30 times higher than those in nonpregnant women. Endorphins engender feelings of pleasure and joy. Since endorphins are secreted in response to pain, it seems likely that by eliminating pain, epidurals would also abolish the endorphin response."
So it makes sense to me, if you numb the pain, you numb the joy.
Amazingly enough, the above is only true for drugs or any type of pain relief that prevents the pain signals from reaching the brain. So, for example, an epidural would prevent the buildup of endorphins. However, other methods of pain relief that work by over-riding those signals (hypnosis, massage, water) relieve the experience of suffering while still allowing the endorphins to accumulate.
Now that's the way to go!
Well, I'll tell you right now, water is a wonderful thing to help you relax in childbirth. Your plan is the same as most homebirthing couples. I think that one thing we in the natural childbirth movement don't like to say, but should, is that birth hurts. It's temporary, accomplishes a whole lot, and afterward is most likely something we'd all do again. There are some women who experience no pain at all, but they are rare birds. I have talked to women who think that because it hurt, they did something wrong (didn't relax right/ take the right vitamins or eat the right foods / didn't use the right position/ didn't do the right exercises pre-natally) All these things are factors in your pregnancy, but not necessarily in the amount/kind of pain you have in your labor. For myself, I was terrified of delivering my child's head (I mean that big old head coming through that little bitty place..ack) but in the end, that was the easiest part...transition sucked, but was over pretty fast, and after that I figured that I could do anything. Don't be scared, be prepared. After you birth your baby, you will know in your heart of hearts that there is nothing that you can't do.
Books and Newsletters about VBACs, Unassisted Birth and Pleasurable Husband/Wife Childbirth
Birth and Orgasm / Orgasmic Birth
Orgasmic Birth is a documentary that examines the sexual and intimate nature of birth and the powerful role it plays in women's lives when they are permitted to experience it. They are soliciting donations to complete production.
The "legs" of the clitoris run inside the pelvic rami, so pressure there would happen during birth. The "legs" of the perineal sponge also run down the sides of the vagina, so pressure from a head coming through the perineum could easily cause pressure that would result in an orgasm. [See A New View of a Woman's Body - A Fully Illustrated Guide by the Federation of Feminist Women's Health Centers, pp. 33-57.]
Susie Birth's Sexual Reality contains an essay, "Egg Sex", (p. 99) that has a nice discussion about sexuality during pregnancy and the use of a vibrator during labor.
The ejaculatory hormones that prompt your body to expel the baby during the pushing stage are the same that men have for ejaculations/orgasms (and women too but in much smaller amounts during sex). The pushing stage of birth is the only time a woman naturally has such a large amount of that hormone, which is why some women compare pushing to orgasm.
I remember reading about this in a thread last week and came across this paragraph in a book I'm reading - "Pregnancy: The Psychological Experience" by Libby Lee and Arthur D. Coleman:
"Most women find the comparison between orgasm and labor a dubious one. Even the most devoted followers of "childbirth without pain" movements will not claim that contractions are intensely pleasurable, although there are some women who may draw this analogy with the expulsion of the baby. Nevertheless, the comparison is more easily made by involved observers of the labor experience. A husband who kept a careful notebook while watching his wife in her first labor made this observation: "I kept thinking over and over that there is something positively orgasmic about the contraction - a strange. solitary, almost sexual experience." There are few other physiological events that, once begun, are automatic, involuntary, and take such complete control of all sensations."
When I gave birth the last time I felt incredible sexual arousal just as my daughter was being born. Did that happen to anyone else?
You betcha !!! I felt it for quite some time. I think that the scientific reasoning for this is that there is actually nerves in the vagina that attach to the clitoral sponge, i.e.., the G-spot. As the baby's head is passing over this spot, it arouses you, that is if you aren't too busy focusing something else.
You might also want to check out the book, Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin. It has loads of women who talk about having sexual feelings during birth.
Ah, you've hit on one of my favorite topics. Both times I've given birth I've thought that pushing and birthing felt better than the best orgasm I've ever had. So few people agree. I talked with Michel Odent one day at a conference and he showed a photo of a woman giving birth with the most orgasmic expression on her face. He kind of got what I was saying, but so few people do. Thanks for finding me another one.
Actually, this is one of my main objections to epidurals. I can't imagine giving up that triumphant feeling just for a little pain relief. How great that this woman used the epidural in the best way possible. She got her much needed sleep then had it removed and got on with her labor.
I spoke to them both the other day and they both feel that not only was it a totally enjoyable experience, it was also deeply sexual for both of them. She even said that, as her baby was born, she felt like she was experiencing the best orgasm she'd ever had.
"I could never accurately describe the power of those contractions, except to say, it's the same type of power that brings the sun up in the morning." A labouring mother
When I was in labor with my 3rd, I did try to be loving to everyone. I told everyone (I loved) that I loved them - and really felt it. I worked hard to be sweet and tender and grateful for all the support I was getting, I thanked everyone for their participation, and for coming to my birth. I smiled as often as I could. I tried to make the birth the best birth anyone had ever attended! I wanted to be brave and sweet and amaze everyone with my tenderness and togetherness. That was my goal. It HELPED SO MUCH! I really did feel so soft and joyful. In trying to portray it, I became it. Looking back at the pictures it really does look, even late in labor, as if I was having the best time! Not that it didn't hurt - but mindset was EVERYTHING. It felt so purposeful.
With #4 I didn't really prepare at all. I knew it was going to hurt, and just put that out of my mind. By then I had lots of confidence and knew that it would be one day out of my life. I knew I could handle it because I knew I could do anything for 2-3 minutes at a time. That labor was much easier, too. I spent most of it alone, while the house slept. That was really pretty cool!
I agree with those who recommend surrendering to labor and birth. Fighting it gets you no where, you can't fight it and win, so just yield to it. Give in to it. I also recommend you keep things as low key for as long as possible. Don't get all worked up 'cause you think you might be in labor. Go about your business, get some rest, relax, take a nap, eat, whatever... labor will come GET YOU when it is ready for your attention. Don't give it to much of your energy until it demands it.
About Labor as Work rather than Pain
Even though there can be pain, I try not to use that word. I use the word "work." Does it hurt to work-out with weights or chop wood? Yes, but we are not afraid or overwhelmed by those tasks because though they are hard, the toil is manageable, and so rewarding. Someone on the list last fall described labor as being more like a football game than a marathon. I agree. For me it was not constant exertion, but rather minutes of hard, deep work followed by rests. And it was invigorating like football on a crisp fall day. And I had a team to help me.
I've been doing homebirth midwifery since 1977. i think it's GREAT that we now have CNM's in hospitals, birth centers and at home and that the midwifery model of care is gaining credibility in theory and practice...
BUT- while i do agree with the position that yes, midwives in hospitals are helping women and THAT is the most important thing, I also believe we need to not lose sight of the fact that some of what the Mehls said about medicalization is absolutely TRUE... I see that in our American culture in general we medicate more and more and more of our life experiences- there is a drug for everything. To me, this is the important thread.
I offer non medicated homebirth because this is what i believe in and i can honestly practice this with integrity. We each have our niche. I respect all of you who work in the hospital- I don't think I could hack it.
Here's a story. First birth - Woman was GBS+ in 1st pregnancy, had a hospital birth with CNM, IV antibiotics, epidural (with 4+ hours of pushing a 9# 8 oz. baby) good kid, no problems.
This time they planned a homebirth. She labored at home 9 hours, 10 minutes pushing a 9# 4 oz. kid, no problems, no pain meds...
OK, now 3 days pp we are talking about the birth, the differences between home and hospital, how great she feels now compared to first time, how she felt everything, felt the kid move down with every push, and yeah how it hurt, but how she was GLAD there was no pain medication available because if there was she might have chosen it, to relieve the intensity of the feelings, and yet how happy she is to have been able to feel everything and how it's good there were no pain medications available because she might have said yes and missed out on the exquisite sensations of birthing her child...
Well, anyhow, i'm sure many of you have had similar conversations with women, but my point here is that we absolutely NEED to have that non medicated option available... IF she was in the hospital where meds were available and offered, she could have chosen them and not had the experience she had... How many women use pain meds in labor just because "it's there"?
I really don't think it's an either/or situation as far as value judgements, morality etc. I think we just need to each work with the system we know we can support, heart and soul. But i do believe we need to be on guard against getting lulled into the notion that pain meds are "ok", no big deal...
WE ARE engaged in changing the culture... and one of the big changes i think we need to work together on as midwives, regardless of our place of practice, is that birth doesn't have to be a horrendous painful scary event. So much of pain has to do with perception, and as many of you have already articulated, emotional support makes a difference. I think as midwives our work is to help to alleviate that idea that birth is awful and painful.
My pet peeve is fear and i think we all need to work to allay the heavy layers of fear that permeate birth in our culture. However we do that, whatever works, is our individual path. Some at home without any meds, some in the hospital with meds on occasion and are bridges...
i've chosen to stay working only at home because THIS option also needs to continue to be available: Birth as a normal life process, at the center of a woman's life- in her home, not as a medical event... No doctors, no drugs, no intervention...
No Fear - Birth Happens
Difference Between Laboring in the Hospital and Laboring at Home
There is a lot of difference between a 60 hour labor at home and a 60 hour labor in the hospital. My longest labor was 24 hours in the hospital that ended with a C-section. It truly was hell on earth. My husband and I were scared, left alone, not informed, and just basically treated badly with a lot of disrespect. My husband runs his own business, if he treated his clientele the same way the hospital personnel treated us he would be OUT of business.
My second labor was mainly at home with a planned hospital delivery. I labored with my husband and doula for 6 hours. But I have to say that we had a good time - we ate, drank, laughed, I took a bath. In fact, when we finally got into the van to go to the hospital (which was 60 minutes away) I was ready to push!! We did make it to the hospital and I had several more hours of pushing, but it was an exciting ride.
My third labor and birth were entirely at home. I awoke at 3:00 a.m. in labor. Went down to watch a movie and time contractions just to make sure this was the real thing. After the movie I went back to bed to save up my rest, and found my 2 year old in bed and husband in my other son's bedroom. So I cuddled my toddler and dozed off while timing contractions.
By 8:00 a.m. I was sure this was really labor. I called friends in between contractions to ask for their prayers, I folded towels. I made sure all the food was out of the freezer for the midwife, doula, babysitter and family. When my birth team finally arrived I visited with them for a while too. Sure it was a lot of work, but the time passed very quickly because the atmosphere and the people were so pleasant!!
I delivered a 10 lb 12 oz boy, at 5:15 p.m., which was no picnic, but when it was over it was over. The next day I was sitting at the computer (although I had ice on my sore bottom! - try doing that after a abdominal surgery!!)
So I guess I'm saying that a long labor doesn't have to be horrible, terrible, teeth gritting torment. It can actually be rather pleasant, enjoyable ,memorable and kind of fun!! I think a lot depends on where you are, and who you have around you.
My homebirth was *almost* painless. I had to concentrate on the contractions, which were very intense toward the end, but I never felt what I would describe as pain during labor. I was in pain as his head crowned, though. But that didn't last very long. In her notes, my midwife wrote that I "sailed through the first stage (of labor) with very little reaction to the pain." So, I haven't forgotten what actually happened.
I have often wondered about whether every woman can have a painless or almost painless birth, too. I attribute my good experience to being completely relaxed. I had no mental or physical barriers while I was in labor. I completely trusted my body and my midwife and my baby.
My two births were very different from each other but not too bad, pain-wise. My first one was 30+ hours so I was tired, and the second one was 3.5 hours, and very intense. Both were at home, and both were "do-able" - I never felt panicky or out of control.
My dh is a Hypnotherapist, a Time Line Therapist and an NLP Master Practitioner. All of these things are going to help me tremendously with my birth. However, I feel I would still have a painless birth without these things because I *believe* I will have a painless birth. If you can convince your subconscious that there is no reason to feel the pain of birth, you wont. I think a lot of it is fear. That's another reason why I think so many homebirthers don't have painful births. They already have total trust in their bodies and their support system. There is very little fear there, if at all. They wouldn't be having a homebirth otherwise.
I also like to think of marathon runners or sprinters when I think about pain tolerance. These athletes do not realize they were feeling pain until they have finished the race. They were 100% focused on their goal to even recognize anything else. It's all in the head and what you believe.
With my second birth, I attribute its quickness to my total focus on relaxation, particularly relaxation of my thighs and anything (and everything) pelvic.
The most vital thing, however, was my acceptance of and happiness about the REALLY STRONG contractions. I knew that the stronger they were, the better they were working, and the closer I was to the birth. Going to births while I was pregnant and looking at things from the midwives' perspective gave me this insight. Midwives see those amazing contractions that women can barely handle as the sign of a really effective labor! So I decided to welcome them, encourage them, and enjoy them, rather than fearing them or resisting them.
I was sitting on the couch when I felt a lot of pressure. Thinking my water might break, I knelt on the floor next to the couch. My water DID break but imagine my surprise when I put my fingers into my birth canal, and felt the baby's head right there! I could have sworn I was only 6-8 cm! I ended up catching Paxton myself since we had called the midwife too late, and dh, though he was with me, was in shock.
I believe we can talk ourselves into anything. The brain is an amazing thing. Think about people with multiple personalities. One personality has blue eyes and the other one has brown. One personality can have cancer and the other there is no trace of it. It all has to do with limiting beliefs. Hypnotherapy helps get rid of those limiting beliefs.
I think when labor is not progressing naturally, our bodies will respond with pain. When a baby is laying the wrong way (posterior), our bodies will send up signals saying "hey, something is wrong here". That's why back labor is so painful because it's not going the "right" way. My first was posterior as I stated above and had many many symptoms of it before I went into labor. No one told me how to fix it. Now I know better and will do everything in my power the last few weeks to keep this baby from turning posterior. I know what to do now.
I completely trust the self-hypnosis theory for reducing labor pain. For me, the biggest help I got from hypnobirthing was learning how to "breathe the baby down" which I had basically practiced from 6 months pregnant on. It then came completely naturally to me as the day progressed.
To be honest, it felt really really good to vocalize and dance that last half hour so maybe that really was just the way things were meant to be for me. It also helped dh to see that I really was working hard.
LOL, that happens a lot! The midwives are expecting "those sounds" and they just don't hear them from our hypnobirthing moms. That's why the baby Story missed my students birth: the midwife didn't think the mom was far along in labor at all because she was so quiet on the phone. i'm so glad your experience was a positive one!
Personally, I don't think having a painless labor is exactly the point. I believe that childbirth is a rite of passage and one of spiritual growth, if we are open to it. In being open to it, I think it is possible to experience a painless labor, or a very hard one, depending on what the woman would most benefit from overall. I've given birth twice, and they were both the most intense spiritual experiences of my life. I practice and teach kundalini yoga, and doubtlessly it prepared my mind and body to deal with the process. I seemed to have some unique phenomena, especially this last time, when things started getting intense deep native american chanting started coming through me. It really helped with the pain, and precisely reflected what my body was going through. I also believe it helped the baby. I did feel pain, but every time it was immediately balance with pleasure equal or greater. I can't say that I would prefer it any other way.
Birth Without Drugs is Very Possible
Your comments about pain medication make me want to point out that ALL of the births that I have ever done, and all of the births of all of the midwives on this list, and across the country, that were done at home and usually in birth centers, were done without pain meds. It is very possible.
I never have moms begging to go to the hospital for pain medication (except possibly in transition, for a contraction or 2). I don't think these women are wired any differently than anyone else. They just don't want pain medication to mess up their births, get into their babies' bodies, and they don't want their senses dulled for the most glorious experience of their lives. These women still experience pain, but are well motivated. I don't think we have any magic breathing techniques either. We just stay with the moms, breathe with them, make them feel like they are not alone. We actually discourage the hee-hee hoo breathing and the focal point. Most midwives find that Lamaze breathing is not very helpful. I helped at a primip birth this week, and she was in exquisite pain for most of the day. it never occurred to us or her that she would get pain medication. Baby was born with his arm wrapped around his neck, and his elbow had been in her back, along her spine and rectum for hours. She delivered over an intact perineum. You just need to see some non-medicated births and don't buy into the theory that some women have lower thresholds, etc. From your descriptions, you are dealing with a very medical mode of "delivering" babies. Birth is safe. Birth is painful. Women have been doing it unmedicated all the way back to Eve. You need to see the look in a first time mom's eyes, when she gives birth at home after 30 hours. You need to see the look in a VBAC's eyes, when she pushes her baby into the world. (VBACs especially want to feel that experience.)
Read some good alternative books on child birth -- books with birth stories are particularly helpful. The other thing you can do to convince yourself, is to watch what happens to the moms and the babies when they are on their backs, full of drugs.
So... how about it....anyone out there love to labor and give birth ?
yeah, i did. it's not that i loved the pain, but the emotions that come with it. i believe a big part of how we feel about our births is dependent on our education about the process. birth made me feel empowered, like... from there i could do anything and i know a lot of women who have birthed unmedicated and didn't come away from it with the same positive feelings that i did, and then i'd hint around about how much education they obtained about birth and it was next to nothing. i'm not saying uneducated women are numb about birth, but it seems those who take the time to learn more are more involved and understanding and less fearful and willing to take responsibility. this goes for the partners, too.
i loved knowing that i was doing the best things for my baby, knowing it had everything going for her. Aside from all the physical benefits that come from birthing unmedicated, emotionally it's the most satisfying experience in the world. there's increased appreciation for your baby, your body, respect for yourself, and even appreciation and respect for your mate.
women are strong and grow so abundantly afterwards from making wise choices in birth. for me, my self esteem and confidence increased ten fold from my whole pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum experience because i played an active, knowledgeable role. childbirth is not about pain, it's about growth and strength in all regards.
One of the founders of obstetrics writes that women who have been properly prepared through out the prenatal period will have 'practically painless' labor without any need for therapeutics (drug or herbal remedies).
Well, the author may be dust in his grave, but I think his words still stand true! Nine tenths of the birthing process is affected by that "preparation" period. A healthy mom with the right attitude will generally sail through labor. Complications are rare and usually easily handled.
A mom who is filled with fear and terror, is almost sure to have (or to perceive herself having) a "complicated", and painful labor.
I do think the PAIN of labor is becoming the major focus of the current generation. Most folks in the general culture I talk to are absolutely convinced that labor is the most painful experience on earth, and there is no possibility of a labor being anything less than horrific. Many of them "know" that childbirth preparation classes do not work. They know "lamaze" and other methods are useless. They "know" women will need to have drugs to handle labor.
We have a culture which forgets even the most recent past. In the 70s, during the height of the "natural childbirth movement", nearly 70% of women in hospitals in this region gave birth without drugs and reported it a "great experience"!
Women's bodies have not changed. If anything we are stronger and healthier than our predecessors. I think the PAIN of childbirth is partly media fed; partly fed by our own profession insisting on childbirth classes, labor support, doulas etc.; and certainly fed by the fear of those who never experienced childbirth! Women who have never given birth are generally certain it is a painful experience. But women who have given birth under anesthesia are absolutely convinced it is extremely painful. In fact, the better the anesthetic, the more certain they become about the pain they did not feel.
NO BODY fears the pain of childbirth more than the person who has never experienced it!
In my own family, my grandmother gave birth without drugs. She thought having babies was not terribly distressing, though it was UNLADYLIKE! But not especially painful. My mother had general anesthetic and KNEW the pain of childbirth probably could not be survived if a woman was conscious (yeah, there is a failure of logic there). I gave birth without drugs and found moments were uncomfortable, but it wasn't such a big deal.
The women of the fifties -- those under general anesthetics and spinal anesthetics - feared childbirth the most. Yet they never felt a thing!
Just think about this? the hospital ladies have NOTHING to do but concentrate on the pain, whereas the home ladies have homelife, dishes, laundry meals that have to get done and they do them. Here I have a birth center/home it is hard to distract them, I have movies, they can go shopping or clean. A primip got down on her knees and scrubbed the kitchen floor , it sure got her labor to increase but they feel needed and productive, when you are just sitting around contracting, they feel very unproductive so I try to give them things to do like cleaning the refrigerator - I hate that job and they have to bend over a lot to do it.
Why Women Are So Afraid Labor will be Painful
Remember, these women have listened to horror stories their whole lives of labors which were forced on women and conditions which most of these fine doctors who did it would never put their own cat through.
my stepmom's family got an earful from me a couple weeks ago about this and they are now changing their tune to her. My god, isn't it still a social faux pas to talk about how god awful labor is? it damned well ought to be.
I am just so steamed at these women who go blathering about how awful labor is, NEVER MENTIONING how when they walked it was manageable, or the shower and pool were miracle workers, etc.
yea, when I was laying down on my back I was screaming for an epidural too.
I slept in the jacuzzi.
Labor Pain as Good Pain
Labor Is Good for Your Baby
Midwives Support Unmedicated Birth Because It's Better for the Baby
This is just a little something I share with my childbirth education clients about pain. It seems that everyone is bombarded with messages about pain constantly. Through the TV, things we read, just talking to people. The gist is that pain is bad and ought to be eliminated. However, there are two sides to the issue of pain. Let's imagine two people who have a lot of pain. One has just completed a marathon and her body is aching all over from the exertion and from pushing her body beyond it's normal limits. The other has just been hit by a car and has broken bones and deep tissue bruising as well as cuts and abrasions. Both are hurting quite a bit. But their experience of pain is different. The difference is the nature of the origin of the pain. In the first case, it is physiological, coming from the body doing something normal, but strenuous over of a long period of time. The other is traumatic, that is, it is caused by an injury to the body. In the first case, the body has natural responses to the pain and helps the body to recover and actually heals the body in a state better than it was before the exertion. The next time it won't be so bad, as the body is getting better conditioned. In the second case, the injury causes the pain to be more intense. The body is alerting the brain to the fact that something is terribly wrong. Healing is slow and painful, and pain relievers are a great bonus to the sufferer.
Now in relation to childbirth, we have to remember that the pain is derived from the body doing a normal activity but over a long period of time. It is like the marathon in that the muscles are used over and over again. The activity is stressful in the repetition. It is basically hard work over a long period of time. But it is work the body is uniquely designed to carry out. The pain is not pathological or traumatic, so the body can handle it on its own. Normal comfort measures and rest periods work very well. Relaxation to conserve energy is also very helpful.
I have had 7 natural births and 2 major surgeries. I can tell you from first hand experience that the nature of the pain in both cases is different. In birthing, there are things you can do to make it better. In pain caused by an injury to the body, not much you do helps for long. I was very grateful for Demerol after surgery!
Birth hurts for most of us because of the amount of work it takes to get our babies out. Sometimes it is worse than others. But if there is nothing else going on, the body can usually handle it just fine. Women don't die from the pain, though sometimes they may wish they could! I believe that pain in childbirth that cannot be helped by natural comfort measures should be looked into. There is almost always a good reason for it that can be dealt with.
Another thing I tell women is to focus on the exact nature of the pain they are experiencing. Where exactly does it hurt. What kind of pain is it, burning, or stretching or a dull ache. You know, be descriptive, so your helpers can do things to help. It is not enough to just say it hurts, you have to be specific. It helps to get completely in tune with your body both before labor and during. Shut out distractions so you can focus completely on what your body is doing.
I'd like to hear what you all teach your students/clients about 1) dealing with nay-sayers who don't believe natural birth is possible or "worth it"; 2) dealing with the disappointment after if they don't have the natural birth they want.
So how do you teach your women? What do you say to them? There seems to be such a fine line between saying "I know you can do it, generations of women before you did it, and you are just as strong as they are!" and then, if they don't do it, still encouraging them that they did "their best" (Which to me sounds almost like an insult - was that really my best? Could I really do no better than that?)
When I first began teaching Childbirth classes, I grappled with the issue of pain for the same reasons you mentioned. Pain during labor is NOT a sensation that is easily described and felt the same by every woman. For that reason, I created a handout called "Pain In Childbirth" that describes the various ways that women may experience pain during labor.
I have gotten good feedback from this handout. It helps women realize that there are different reasons/sources of pain, and that some things can be physically managed, and some CAN'T. In either event, preparing themselves both physically and emotionally can only help them when the real thing occurs.
I am a firm believer that knowledge is power, and I want the women that I have the privilege of teaching to gain as much knowledge as possible so that they can feel powerful. Does this mean they won't take pain medication? No...not necessarily. But it DOES mean that they will know other alternatives BESIDES drugs.
Teaching natural childbirth in this era of high-technology is difficult at best. Our culture does not encourage women to trust their bodies. We grew up in an age where women go to the hospital to give birth, creating an indelible impression that we cannot give birth without the assistance of doctors and machinery. Today's modern woman is horrified with the concept of homebirth, befuddled by the idea of using a midwife instead of a doctor and doesn't understand the concept of natural childbirth because THEY NEVER SEE IT ON TV OR IN THE MOVIES OR HEAR ABOUT IT FROM FAMILY MEMBERS OR FRIENDS WHO HAVE GIVEN BIRTH. Since the norm is medicated birth, a natural birth seems odd.
This is disheartening as a childbirth educator, but I try not to take it to heart. I feel that their first experience is not necessarily their LAST experience, and maybe the seeds will be planted well enough in their classes for them to try something different with the next birth. Maybe they will have more confidence in themselves because they've gone through it once. Maybe they will have learned that their girlfriend, sister, sister-in-law, cousin, neighbor, etc. DIDN'T know everything about labor and birth, and they will feel comfortable enough to try and do it their own way instead.
Importance of Kisses in Labor
Mary Finocchario, in her birth account which I printed in HAPPY BIRTH DAYS (a collection of 50 do-it-yourself homebirth accounts that I came out with in l986) she said, "We felt the Lord urging us to just love each other. Lou gave me one of his long Italian kisses. Within seconds that baby door flew open and with one huge contraction, that nearly sent me through the floor, the baby descended all the way down the birth canal and his head was ready to emerge.
I jumped up on the bed and leaned back on several pillows. With one push and several pants, the head was out. Lou supported the head and applied perineal support to ease the shoulders out on the second push. The baby cried softly at first as Lou suctioned out any mucous and I rubbed the baby's back. Then Lou placed him on my stomach and he gave several lusty cries.
Since then I discovered that saliva contains some marvelous properties that are, I suspect, useful in the experience of birth. According to J.J. Cowley, of the Department of Psychology, University College, London, some l6-androstene steroids "were discovered 20 years ago to act as male>female sex releaser pheromones in the pig..., and over the years several studies have provided evidence for pheromonal effects of one or both of these steroids in man..., although others have failed to find an effect.
In spite of their established action in rousing oestrous sows to be sexually receptive, and in spite of their MUCH GREATER CONCENTRATION IN HUMAN MALE THAN IN FEMALE...SALIVA...[emphasis mine], we lack any firm knowledge, at least in humans, about [their effects]. The mere fact that they do act as pheromones in man has, however, far-reaching implications for social behaviour.
"Human exposure to putative pheromones and changes in aspects of social behavior," JOURNAL OF STEROID BIOCHEM. MOLEC. BIOLOGY, Vol 39, No. 4B, pp. 647-659)
I'm of the opinion that the deep warm kisses that Lou gave to Mary contained a substance which facilitated the birth of their baby so that the process was neither prolonged nor overly stressful for Mary's vaginal tissues to accommodate. And furthermore, long Irish kisses and German kisses or any others are just as effective as Italian ones!
I just mention the above about kissing in case others have not learned about it. I do cover it in my new book, which is finally available. The title is PLEASURABLE HUSBAND/WIFE CHILDBIRTH: The real consummation of married love.
I also speak of the benefit of relaxin. That is a hormone which has been found to be present in human seminal plasma. This hormone softens the cervix and lengthens pelvic ligaments. So, the couple who has coitus during the early phase of labor has a much more gentle and comfortable birth experience than those who do not have the benefit of this God-designed "treatment".
I was talking with a Chicago doctor a couple of weeks ago who had been associated with LLL for many years. He said that marvelous discoveries have been made in the last 30 years about the unique and valuable properties of breastmilk. He then predicted that in the next 30 there will be just as astounding ones discovered about currently unrealized properties of seminal plasma and fluid.
I'm reminded of the rigmarole we women used to have to go through during the l950s in order to cleanse our nipples before being allowed to breast feed our babies in the hospital. In order to prepare infant formula, those working in the nurseries had to go through very precise procedures of sterilization to protect the health of the babies. And breastfeeding moms were subjected to a similar approach. There is a book by Charlotte Painter called WHO MADE THE LAMB which described it. It was rather funny. Get it if your library has it. You'll get a kick out of it.
Epidurals Numb Joy as Well as Pain
Just last night I was reading an article about epidurals which stated "At the time of birth, a woman's level of endorphins, the body's natural pain killers, are found to be 30 times higher than those in nonpregnant women. Endorphins engender feelings of pleasure and joy. Since endorphins are secreted in response to pain, it seems likely that by eliminating pain, epidurals would also abolish the endorphin response."
So it makes sense to me, if you numb the pain, you numb the joy.
Amazingly enough, the above is only true for drugs or any type of pain relief that prevents the pain signals from reaching the brain. So, for example, an epidural would prevent the buildup of endorphins. However, other methods of pain relief that work by over-riding those signals (hypnosis, massage, water) relieve the experience of suffering while still allowing the endorphins to accumulate.
Now that's the way to go!
Well, I'll tell you right now, water is a wonderful thing to help you relax in childbirth. Your plan is the same as most homebirthing couples. I think that one thing we in the natural childbirth movement don't like to say, but should, is that birth hurts. It's temporary, accomplishes a whole lot, and afterward is most likely something we'd all do again. There are some women who experience no pain at all, but they are rare birds. I have talked to women who think that because it hurt, they did something wrong (didn't relax right/ take the right vitamins or eat the right foods / didn't use the right position/ didn't do the right exercises pre-natally) All these things are factors in your pregnancy, but not necessarily in the amount/kind of pain you have in your labor. For myself, I was terrified of delivering my child's head (I mean that big old head coming through that little bitty place..ack) but in the end, that was the easiest part...transition sucked, but was over pretty fast, and after that I figured that I could do anything. Don't be scared, be prepared. After you birth your baby, you will know in your heart of hearts that there is nothing that you can't do.
Books and Newsletters about VBACs, Unassisted Birth and Pleasurable Husband/Wife Childbirth
Birth and Orgasm / Orgasmic Birth
Orgasmic Birth is a documentary that examines the sexual and intimate nature of birth and the powerful role it plays in women's lives when they are permitted to experience it. They are soliciting donations to complete production.
The "legs" of the clitoris run inside the pelvic rami, so pressure there would happen during birth. The "legs" of the perineal sponge also run down the sides of the vagina, so pressure from a head coming through the perineum could easily cause pressure that would result in an orgasm. [See A New View of a Woman's Body - A Fully Illustrated Guide by the Federation of Feminist Women's Health Centers, pp. 33-57.]
Susie Birth's Sexual Reality contains an essay, "Egg Sex", (p. 99) that has a nice discussion about sexuality during pregnancy and the use of a vibrator during labor.
The ejaculatory hormones that prompt your body to expel the baby during the pushing stage are the same that men have for ejaculations/orgasms (and women too but in much smaller amounts during sex). The pushing stage of birth is the only time a woman naturally has such a large amount of that hormone, which is why some women compare pushing to orgasm.
I remember reading about this in a thread last week and came across this paragraph in a book I'm reading - "Pregnancy: The Psychological Experience" by Libby Lee and Arthur D. Coleman:
"Most women find the comparison between orgasm and labor a dubious one. Even the most devoted followers of "childbirth without pain" movements will not claim that contractions are intensely pleasurable, although there are some women who may draw this analogy with the expulsion of the baby. Nevertheless, the comparison is more easily made by involved observers of the labor experience. A husband who kept a careful notebook while watching his wife in her first labor made this observation: "I kept thinking over and over that there is something positively orgasmic about the contraction - a strange. solitary, almost sexual experience." There are few other physiological events that, once begun, are automatic, involuntary, and take such complete control of all sensations."
When I gave birth the last time I felt incredible sexual arousal just as my daughter was being born. Did that happen to anyone else?
You betcha !!! I felt it for quite some time. I think that the scientific reasoning for this is that there is actually nerves in the vagina that attach to the clitoral sponge, i.e.., the G-spot. As the baby's head is passing over this spot, it arouses you, that is if you aren't too busy focusing something else.
You might also want to check out the book, Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin. It has loads of women who talk about having sexual feelings during birth.
Ah, you've hit on one of my favorite topics. Both times I've given birth I've thought that pushing and birthing felt better than the best orgasm I've ever had. So few people agree. I talked with Michel Odent one day at a conference and he showed a photo of a woman giving birth with the most orgasmic expression on her face. He kind of got what I was saying, but so few people do. Thanks for finding me another one.
Actually, this is one of my main objections to epidurals. I can't imagine giving up that triumphant feeling just for a little pain relief. How great that this woman used the epidural in the best way possible. She got her much needed sleep then had it removed and got on with her labor.
I spoke to them both the other day and they both feel that not only was it a totally enjoyable experience, it was also deeply sexual for both of them. She even said that, as her baby was born, she felt like she was experiencing the best orgasm she'd ever had.
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